Defensiveness
Assertive Message Format
Levels of Message Confirmation
100
Refers to the emotional tone of a relationship
What is communication cimate
100
Last week I asked Tim not to eat the candy before dinner and now Tim is eating a Reese's just as dinner is about to be served.
What is behavior
100
Setting: Resteraunt. Character: Server, Dinner Guest. S: Good evening, my name is-- G: Yeah, yeah can i get a gin & tonic for me and an apple martini for her. S: Oooooooookay. Can In interest you in an app-- G: Yeah we're ready to order!
What is interrupting
200
The attempt to protect a presenting image a person believes is being attacked.
What is Defensiveness
200
Tim must've forgotten that I asked him not to eat candy before dinner. He is a very good boy and I know that he would not diliberately disobey me!
What is interpretation
200
Setting: Office. Characters: employee & co-worker E: Hey, did you get to read those files for the presentation? C: Uhh don't worry about it. E: I need to kow so I can give it to someone else. C: I'll get back with you
What is ambiguous
300
Behavior by another that is percieved as attacking an individual's presenting image or face.
What is face-threatening acts
300
When you laugh at me, I think you find my ideas stupid and I feel embarressed.
What is feeling
300
Setting: customer service hotline. Characters: customer & sales rep C: Hey, my ipod keeps dying and I want another one. S: Okay, i'm sorry to hear that-- C: Another thing, you people keep transferring me and i'm tired of getting the run around! S: Ok, i'm sorry about that, but if you let me help you-- C: You know what? Forget it, i'm going to the store.
What is complaining
400
Being honest with others rather than manipulating them.
What is spontaneity
400
When you didn't notify me that your paper was going to be late (behavior), I automatically gave you a failing grade (consequence) so I think that was very irresponsible of you and I am dissapointed (feeling)
What is consequence
400
Setting: Classroom. Characters: teacher & class T: Ok, homework for tonight is in the Math workbook. C: (class asks random questions to distract teacher)
What is tangential
500
Communicators focus on finding a solution that satisfies both their need and those of others involved.
What is problem orientation
500
When I didn't hear from you last night (behavior), I thought you were mad at me (interpretation). I've been thinking about it ever since (consequence) and i'm still worried (feeling). I'd like to know whether you are intentionally trying to make me angry (intention).
What is intention
500
Setting: office. Characters: employee & boss E: I'm having personal issues and i'd like to know if I can take a few days off so I can deal with them B: Well we all have personal problems, get over it.
What is impersonal
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