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"shopping for a nice lady"
What are students in trauma looking for?
Students who have experienced trauma are often fearful of people in positions of authority. Faculty, by virtue to their position, are "people in positions of authority." Students may assume that you are not someone they can trust or someone they can talk to. It's not about you--it's about them, their fear, their shame, their history of asking for help that resulted in more trauma, etc. They are "shopping for a nice lady"--they may test you repeatedly before they believe that you really do care and that you have no intention of judging them or hurting them.