Which Skill?
Use this skill to maintain your self respect and sticking to your values while communicating what you want
FAST
What does the D in DEAR MAN represent?
Describe
Describe the situation. Stick to the facts.
Fair, Apologies, Sticking to Your Values, and Truthful
What does the T stand for in the THINK skill
Think about the situtaion from the other person's perspective
How many topics should you discuss at one time?
One topic
Use this skill to keep and maintain a healthy relationship by fostering positive interactions
GIVE
What does the E in DEAR MAN represent?
Express
Express your feelings by using "I" statements.
What does the F in the FAST skill represent?
Fair
Be fair to yourself and the other person
What does the H stand for in the THINK skill
Have empathy - what does it feel like to be the other person
Take turns doing this...
speaking
Use this skill to get what you want out of a situation but also without harming your relationship to the other person
DEAR MAN
What does the 1st A in DEAR MAN represent?
Assert
What does the A in the FAST skill represent?
Apologies
Do not over apologize for your behavior, for making a request or for being you.
What does the I stand for in the THINK skill
Interpretations - of the other person's behavior
what are possible reasons why they did what they did to upset or annoy you?
What is stonewalling?
when someone retreats into their own shell and refuses to speak - No stonewalling in fair fighting
Approaching someone in an easy manner, being gentle, interesting and validating to their thoughts and emotions.
GIVE
What does the R in DEAR MAN represent?
Reinforce.
Reward, or reinforce the person ahead of time by explaining the positive effects of getting what you want.
What does the S in the FAST skill represent?
Stick to Values
Stick to your own values, and opinions.
Do not "sell out" to what what you want, to fit in, or to avoid saying no.
What does the N stand for in the THINK skill
Notice - the other person
when they are trying to be kind and improve
Their body lanuguage
Notice the little things
Take a time out. agree on a time to come back and discuss the issue.
Use this skill when attempting to look at things from the other person's point of view in order to help connect
THINK skill
What does the M in DEAR MAN represent?
Mindful
Keep your focus on what you want, avoiding distractions.
What does the T in the FAST skill represent?
Truthful
Don't lie
Don't act helpless when you are not
Don't make up excuses or exaggerate
What does the K stand for in the THINK skill
Kindness - in your response
If you both can't agree do your best to come to a...
compromise or understanding
Use this skill when getting someone to do what you want without harming your relationship to the other person,
DEAR MAN
What does the 2nd A in DEAR MAN represent?
Appear Confident.
Make and maintain eye contact. Use a confident voice, do not whisper, mumble, or give up and say "whatever."
What skill would you be using, if you were trying to maintain your self respect?
FAST SKILLS
What does the N in DEAR MAN represent?
Negotiate
Be willing to give, to get. Offer alternative solutions to the problem.
The skill you would use when approaching the interaction with empathy, kindness, and by noticing the other person
THINK