MIDDLE PATH
Two things that seem like opposites can both be true at the same time...
What is a Dialectic?
Skill used to ask for something, say no, or get your point of view taken seriously...
What is DEAR MAN?
Describe when you would use the GIVE skill...
What is, when you want to act in a way that you maintain a positive relationship and the other person will keep liking and respecting you.
When using FAST, what are the 4 things you are doing...
What is, Be Fair (to self and others, validate)
No Apologies, don't over-apologize for having opinion, making request
Stick to Values and Be Truthful
Validation means we agree with the other person, T or F?
False
Validation is acknowledging a person's thoughts, feelings and behaviors have causes, are understandable, it does not mean we agree or even like it.
Name one way you can think dialectically...
What is, asking Wise Mind for what you are missing, let go of either/or thinking, "always", "never" and move to both/and, treat others as you want them to treat you, embrace change?
"You told me that you would be home by 10 PM but did not get home until after midnight" is an example of what letter....
What is "D"? Describe the situation, stick to the facts as you tell the person what you are reacting to.
The G-I-V-E in this skill are....
What is, Be Gentle, Act Interested, Validate and use an Easy Manner?
Not acting helpless, fits into what part of FAST?
What is Be Truthful?
Don't act helpless when you are not, don't exaggerate or make excuses
Important things to validate include...
What is, valid, facts of the situation, a person's thoughts, feelings, beliefs, opinions, suffering, difficulties?
Share an example of a dialectic in your life....
Examples:
tough/gentle, alone/connected, angry/and still love someone, disagree with rules/follow the rules, working/resting, emotion regulation/emotion acceptance, trust/suspicion.
The "R" in DEAR MAN stands for reinforce, describe what is being reinforced...
What is, reinforcing what the other person will gain (reinforce reward) and reinforce negative consequences of not giving you what you want or need?
Ways to Act Interested include...
What is, listen to the other person's point of view, face the person, make eye contact, lean in, not away, don't interrupt or talk over them, ask questions?
This part of FAST helps you to maintain self respect...
What is, acting in a way the we are respecting ourselves by sticking to your values. Acting in this way makes you feel capable, effective, even if you don't get what you want.
These are the 6 levels of validation...
What is, pay attention, accurate reflection, articulate non-verbalized emotions, thoughts, behaviors, validate in terms of past experience and present context, be genuine?
Ways to find new friends or get people to like you....
What is, look for people in close proximity, work on small talk, express liking, join ongoing conversations, be mindful of others?
You are doing this, when using MAN in DEAR MAN...
What is Mindful?-focus on goals, don't get distracted or respond to threats, attacks...keep making your point.
What is Appear Confident?-with body language, tone of voice
What is Negotiate?-be willing to give a little
Factors that get in the way of IE include...
What is, not having the skills, not knowing what you want, emotions, favor ST over LT goals, other people get in the way or thoughts/beliefs get in the way.
Share a myth/belief that can get in the way of IE...
What is...
they should know what I want, should have known , they don't deserve me being skillful, revenge feels good, sign of weakness?
This skill improves relationships because it shows we are are listening, and trying to understand...
What is Validation?
These DBT Skills can be used to end a relationship...
What is, Wise Mind, Problem Solve to repair non-destructive relationships, Cope Ahead to practice ending relationship, DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST, Opposite Action when you love the wrong person.
It is best to say "You always", "You should" or "You shouldn't" when expressing how you feel....True or False?
False
Express your feelings and opinions about the situation using "I" statements, don't assume the other person knows how you feel.
Describe ways to Be Gentle...
What is, be nice, don't get defensive, no verbal or physical attacks, no threats or manipulative statements, reduce judgements, no sneering, smirking, eye roles, don't blame?
These 3 skills help us to be mindful of others...
What is, Observe, Describe, and Participate?
"This is really hard for me, it makes sense that I am frustrated right now" is an example of what...
What is, a self validating statement.