States of Mind
What are the 3 states of mind?
Reasonable, Emotion, & Wise
What is objective effectiveness?
Getting what you want from another person or saying no to another person.
What is relationship effectiveness?
Keeping and improving the relationship.
What is self respect effectiveness?
Keeping or improving self resect and acting in ways that make you feel moral, capable, and effective.
What is a destructive relationship?
Destroying or completely spoiling either the quality of the relationship or aspects of yourself.
What is emotion mind?
Ruled by moods, feelings, and urges to do or say things.
What does DEAR MAN stand for?
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear confident, and Negotiate
What does GIVE stands for?
What is (be) Gentle, (act) Interested, Validate, and (use an) Easy manner
What does FAST stand for?
(be) Fair, (no) Apologies, Stick to values, and (be) Truthful.
What is an interfering relationship?
Blocks or makes difficult your pursuing goals that are important to you; your ability to enjoy life and do things you like doing; your relationships with other persons; or the welfare of others that you love.
What is reasonable mind?
Ruled by facts, reason, logic, and pragmatics.
What is broken record?
Keep asking, saying no, or expressing your opinion.
What is validation?
With words and actions, show that you understand the other person’s feelings and thoughts about the situation.
What is a problem with overly apologetic behavior?
It can hurt relationships and cause others to get annoyed or not take us seriously.
What are factors that get in the way of interpersonal effectiveness?
You don't know what you want, you don't have the skills, your emotions, you forget your long-term goals for short-term goals, other people, your thoughts and/or beliefs.
What is wise mind?
The wisdom within each person.
What is turning the tables?
Turn the problem over to the other person & ask for solutions.
Why should you validate?
It improves our relationships by showing we are listening and understand.
It improves interpersonal effectiveness by reducing: pressure to provide who is right, negative reactivity, anger
It makes problem solving, closeness, and support possible.
Invalidation hurts.
What is the definition of values?
In wise mind a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life.
What are factors to consider when deciding how firm or intense you want to be in asking or saying no?
Capability, priorities, self respect, rights, authority, relationship, long-term versus short term goals, give and take, homework, and timing
What is walking the middle path?
Finding the synthesis between opposites.
Role play using DEARMAN with a facilitator to obtain a sticker.
Describe situation Express your feelings and opinions Assert yourself by asking OR saying no Reinforce the person (stay) Mindful...be a broken record...ignore attacks Appear confident Negotiate
Role play using GIVE with a facilitator after you hurt their feelings.
(be) Gentle...no attacks, threats, judging, or sneering (act) Interested Validate other's feelings and thoughts about situation (use an) Easy manner
Role play using FAST with a facilitator saying no to something against your values they want you to do.
(be) Fair- to self and other person (no) Apologies Stick to your own values (be) Truthful
Define dialectics and give 3 examples.
Balancing opposites while entering the paradox of "yes" and "no," "true" and "not true" at the very same time.