DEARMAN
What is the DEARMAN skill used for?
What is: To get our wants and needs met, to say no, and/or to set boundaries.
What is the Core Concept of the GIVE skill?
What is the Core Concept of the FAST skill?
What does the BOUNDARY skill establish?
The BOUNDARY skill establishes a system to help you develop healthy boundaries.
What is the Core Concept of the TRUST skill?
The Core Concept is learning how to develop trust in your relationships.
What does the "R" in the acronym stand for, and how is it used with the skill?
What is an example of being interested with nonverbal communication?
Looking at the person, appropriate eye contact, open and relaxed posture.
Name one of your values and describe how you would express this value with behavior.
Correct response will vary.
What does the "B" in BOUNDARY stand for, and how do we practice this?
Be Aware of Self; Use Observe and Describe to notice your behaviors in your relationships with others.
What does the first "T" in TRUST stand for and how do we practice this?
The first "T" is for Truthful; we tell the truth even when it is inconvenient, difficult, or will result in consequences. We don't give our trust to those proven untrustworthy, and we don't erode the trust people have with us by being dishonest.
What does the first "A" in DEARMAN stand for, and how do we use it in the skill?
Assert: When we ask for what we want or need, or when we set our boundary.
Why is being Genuine important in the GIVE skill?
It lets others know that we value them and treat them with respect, and allows them to know our true selves.
What does "no apologies needed" mean?
That we don't apologize for things outside of our control, for being ourselves, when we disagree, or when an apology isn't needed to repair a relationship.
What does the "Y" stand for in BOUNDARY and what does this mean for the skill?
Your Safety Comes First. It is important to prioritize your safety when setting boundaries; involve the professionals if you need help in an abusive situation.
The "R" stands for respectful; what is an example of someone communicating DISrespectfully to us?
Bullying, yelling, shouting, aggressiveness are all examples of disrespect.
What does the "N" in DEARMAN represent, and how do we use this with the skill?
Negotiate: When we strike compromises and are willing to give to get.
What is one example of a building block/step we can take to validate someone?
Ask questions, listen and reflect, identify with others, discuss emotions, attend to nonverbals, turn the mind, and encourage participation.
What does the "S" stand for and how can we practice this?
"S" means stick to values, and we can practice this by knowing our values and what our non-negotiables are; we act in ways that build our self respect.
We defined 6 different types of boundaries- name 3 of the 6.
Types of boundaries: Physical, Psychological, Emotional, Spiritual, Biographical, and General.
Why is someone who struggles to take our perspective maybe less trustworthy?
It is difficult to trust those who cannot look outside of themselves to take care of others too.
What does the second "A" represent in DEARMAN, and give an example of how to use this with the skill.
Appear Confident: Stand tall, speak with a clear and loud tone, make eye contact, use assertive tone, practice your DEARMAN, etc.
The idiom, "you catch more flies with honey than vinegar" relates to which part of the GIVE acronym?
It relates to the "E" for Easy Manner; treating others with a relaxed and kind manner.
What does the "T" stand for and how to we practice this building block?
Truth and Accountability; we are honest, avoid feigned helplessness and exaggeration, and take responsibility for ourselves.
Why do we spend time defining the different types of boundaries that exist?
We need to have awareness of the different types of boundaries that exist in order to define and practice our own personal boundaries.
What does the last "T" in TRUST stand for and what does it mean in the skill?