barriers
the type of behaviors/patterns of thinking that are influenced by your upbringing and past relationships
what are learned behaviors?
purpose of objective effectiveness
to achieve your desired outcome/goal
three main goals of interpersonal effectiveness
to get what you want or need from others
to maintain self respect
to build and maintain healthy relationships
true/false
DEARMAN is a method to use to get what you want, every time you communicate
false
it increases your ability to communicate your wants and needs which can help the other person understand you more effectively, but is not a guarantee
(negotiation)
ACT OUT
you are at a family gathering and your (semi distant) family member is making hurtful comments about your career choice. How can you respond using the DEARMAN skills
did we
describe the situation, explain our emotions, assert what we want, and reinforce consequences?
were we mindful, appearing confident, and willing to negotiate?
a type of communication where the individual avoids expressing their thoughts, feelings, and needs. often prioritizing the needs of others in order to avoid conflict
what is passive communication?
strategies you can use to stay mindful of another person's feelings during a difficult conversation
what is
active listening, paraphrasing/reflecting, tone, not jumping to conclusions, mindful responding, breathing, grounding
how can these strategies also help you reach your goals with communicating?
reasons why it is important to balance meeting your needs and the other person's needs in interpersonal communications
respecting the needs of others in order to maintain healthy dynamics in relationships
what if we only have someone meet our needs? what could the outcome of that situation be?
name two ways to show you are actively listening
making eye contact, nodding, ask questions, summarize...
what has someone done that showed you they were not actively listening?
TALK IT OUT
how might GIVE skills be helpful in navigating an emotional conversation with a friend or partner
(hint GIVE= gentle, interested, validate, easy manner)
how might your mannerisms change between conversation partners?
are there times you have tried to use these skills and it has not been effective?
main way that we can challenge learned myths and beliefs
what is
check the facts
being mindful in conversation can prevent misinterpretations by...
observing nonverbal cues, clarifying what the other person is communicating, not making assumptions, not thinking about past conversations, listening to understand what the person is saying instead of just trying to get your point across
How to effectively be assertive in communication
how do we feel when someone is assertive with us?how do we tell the difference between assertiveness and aggression? can we explain the difference to someone who is hurt by our communication?
two things to set aside when we are empathically listening
our own judgements and opinions
ACT OUT
a loved one comes up and asks you to help them with a day long project on a day that you have a self care activity planned. When you say no to helping them they become upset. How doyou reinforce your boundaries using interpersonal effectiveness skills?
did we
reinforce our values for self respect and care?
validate their feelings of stress?
reinforce and mindfully explain why we are saying no?
give in? if yes, what are the emotional consequences for us short and long term?
two main types of goals
how can our interpersonal effectiveness influence our short and long term goals?
How do we incorporate mindfulness into Negotiating
looking at nonverbal cues
awareness of emotional triggers
checking in with self - our tone, our body language, our emotional reactions
knowing when to take a break - then how to communicate that
name at least two traits of a healthy relationship
fair and equal decision making
acknowledging and honoring boundaries,
trust
shared and independent experiences
(can we have a healthy relationships if there are unhealthy traits mixed in?
what is the main purpose of using I statements
stating how we are feeling without blaming the other person
increases our chance of being listened to, wihtout the other party becoming defensive
TALK IT OUT
how can we validate someone while still setting a boundary?
do we feel comfortable being validated in conversation? explain why or why not
When too much information is presented at once, it can overwhelm the receiver and hinder their ability to process and understand the message effectively.
what is information overload
how can this impact our ability to effectively communicate our needs?
describe the difference between active listening and empathic listening
Active listening: fully concentrating on what is being said, understanding their meaning, and responding appropriately
Empathic listening: listening not only to understand the facts of what is being said, but to understand the speakers underlying emotions, perspectives and motivations
define enmeshment
relationship with two or more people where boundaries are unclear/non-existent
How would you begin to change an enmeshed relationship?
what are key components of a codependent communication style
difficulty expressing wants/needs directly, people pleasing, lack of assertive communication for fear of rejection, lack of boundaries, expressions of shame or guilt, apologizing
TALK IT OUT
what aspect of interpersonal effectiveness do you feel you struggle with the most?
how do you feel like this patterns have affected you in the past?
how do you want to adjust them so that you can build healthier ways of communicating in the future?
how do you think interpersonal effectiveness will impact your recovery?