R.E.S.P.E.C.T
What is respect?
A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
What is love?
To be deeply committed and connected to someone or something. The basic meaning of love is to feel more than liking towards someone.
What is dialectical thinking?
Balancing opposites while entering the paradox of yes and no, true and not true at same time.
Universe is composed of opposing forces
Everything and every person is connected
Change is the only constant
Change is transactional
What is the Middle Path?
Wise minded living!
Balancing of acceptance and change
True or False
Having the ability to repair relationships is more important than keeping them from “tearing”?
True
What does the F stand for in FAST?
Why is it important?
Be Fair
What skill should one use to nurture relationships? What makes this skill so hard to use?
GIVE
Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy Going Manner
Emotion Mind; Invalidated
What mindfulness skills are necessary to think and act dialectically?
Core Mindfulness
Observe, Describe, Participate
One Mindfully, Non Judgmental, Effective
What is validation?
Communicating clearly, you are paying attention to them, understand them, you are non-judgmental and have empathy – that you can see the truth in their situation.
What is likely to happen to relationships that are ignored?
They can weaken or disappear.
What does the A stand for in FAST?
Why is it important?
No Over Apologizing
What skill should you use to ask for what you need?
DEAR MAN
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce
Mindful, Act Confident, Negotiate
In which state of mind does one think & act dialectically?
Wise Mind
How does one go about walking the middle path?
Balancing our needs/priorities with demands of others.
What is likely to happen if one continuously subverts their needs for the sake of the relationship?
Long standing frustrations due to unmet needs are large & sense of inequity is extreme. Outcome 1 – blows up which leads to jeopardizing relationship 2. Leave on own
What does the S stand for in FAST?
Why is it important?
Stick to your values
Your partner continuously invalidates you. What skill might you use?
Radical Acceptance
Reality Acceptance Skills
Willingness, half smiling,
willing hands
You have the ability to be effective. What gets in the way of acting this way?
Not identifying your goal; Indecision; Vacillating between asking for too much and not asking for anything; Emotional Interference; Environmental Interference; Prioritizing Short term over long term goals
How does checking the facts help to walk the walk?
Informs which skill(s) to use to tolerate or improve the situation.
You try, but interpersonal effectiveness skills fail. What might be going on?
Don’t have the skills
Haven’t identified goal
Short Term Goals are prioritized over Long Term Goals
Emotions are too high
Worries and Assumptions blocking
Environment too powerful
What does the T stand for in FAST?
Why is it important?
Be Truthful
How does highly negative arousal impact our relationships?
Behavior is likely to be mood dependent, ability to take balanced long term view deteriorates, ability to think clearly, communicate effectively and problem solve becomes limited. Judgmental thinking is fueled.
What’s a good question to ask wise mind to make sure you are thinking dialytically?
What am I missing?
How does one self-validate?
Pay attention to own behavior
Reflect – describe private thoughts/feelings and public behavior
Mindful of own emotions
Try to understand own deep thoughts and feelings
Acknowledge the valid
Treat yourself with respect
What strategies can you use to increase behavior you want to see in others?
Positive Reinforcement
Negative Reinforcement
Shaping