Relationships
True or false: learning interpersonal effectiveness skills can help teach you how to navigate relationships better?
True!
Define "objective effectiveness"
Clearly expressing needs; successfully getting your needs met, resolving conflicts, or saying no to unreasonable requests. The goal is to maximize the likelihood of achieving your desired outcome while balancing your own boundaries.
Describe HOW to do DEARMAN? (Hint: it may help to write it down and ask your teammates)
Describe, express, assert, reinforce, stay mindful, appear confident, negotiate
You have been doing really well in school lately and making consistent progress in class every day (at least 5%!)! You are feeling very proud of yourself! A classmate whispers at you, wanting to spend time passing notes back and forth all day because they are bored. You feel like you're on a roll with school and don't want to get distracted from the hard work you've been doing. What skill can you use to tell your classmate no in a respectful way?
GIVE- Gentle, interested, validate, easy manner
Before phones, people communicated with a tap-and-beep system used to send secret messages over long distances. What is it called?!
Morse code
Why is it important to learn how to assert your needs? Give 1 example of how YOU express your own needs!
We all have needs and it's important that we and others know how to meet those for a healthy fulfilled life. (examples may include: talking, writing them down in letters or signs posted on doors...)
Define "relationship effectiveness"
Relationship effectiveness—rooted in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)—is the ability to communicate assertively, set healthy boundaries, and resolve conflicts while actively preserving the relationship and maintaining your own self-respect. It requires balancing what you want with the needs of others
Why is it important to consider the "intensity" of how you ask for something or tell someone no?
Before making a request or refusing one, you evaluate your options and determine the appropriate level of firmness needed. The goal is to use just enough intensity to get the job done, preserving your self-respect and the relationship, without being over-the top
A peer keeps calling you a name that is starting to get on your nerves and upset you. What skill would you use and how would you ask them to stop? Describe all steps!
FAST- Fair (validate), no apologies, stick to values (don't compromise), truthful
What is the ancient form of picture-based communication used by the ancient Egyptians? (Bonus if you can spell it)
Hieroglyphics
This is something that can promote mutual respect in a relationship and prevent conflicts from arising in relationships. Is it:
A) Ice cream sandwiches
B) Arm wrestling
C) Conversation around boundaries
D) Eye contact
C
Define "Self respect effectiveness"
Self-respect effectiveness focuses on protecting your integrity and self-worth during interactions. Rooted in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), it asks: How can I act so I like myself afterward, even if I don't get exactly what I want?
There are 5 factors that make it hard for us to use our interpersonal effectiveness skills. How many can you list with your team?
Lack of skill, worry thoughts, emotions, indecision, environment
Jackson has a goal of buying a house made of legos, which costs around $400,000. In order to have this as quickly as possible, he needs money! He plans to ask Elle for a raise. What skill can he use to make sure he is prioritizing the objective when he asks for a raise?
DEARMAN- Describe/assert/reinforce/mindful/confident/negotiate
What do bees do when they return to the hive to tell other bees where to find the best flowers?
A) Write them a note in honey
B) Communicate telepathically
C) They do a special dance
D) They don't share that info! They want the flowers for themselves!
They do a special dance!
What is gratitude's place in relationships?
Having and practicing gratitude helps us become aware of what we appreciate and enjoy in our relationships, allowing us to prioritize that in our lives.
What is the goal (self-respect, objective, relationship) when you are focusing on protecting your integrity and self-worth during an interaction?
Self-respect effectiveness
Why are non-verbal skills important to pay attention to? What information do they give us?
They give us information about what someone is feeling/thinking and help us communicate better with one another. Examples: eye contact, body language, facial expression
You are playing a video game, but your sibling keeps changing the rules to the game. You want them to play fairly. What does the "S" in FAST stand for?
Stick to values! It means keeping boundaries and standing up for yourself without giving in or being mean
What is a palindrome in word communication?
A word that is spelled the same way forward and backward (like radar, racecar, kayak)
Share a personal skill you are working on with communication, and how you practice that skill.
May be: eye contact, honesty, validating others, empathy, talking instead of yelling, talking instead of avoiding......
What is the goal when DEARMAN is used? (Objective/relationship/self-respect)
Objective effectiveness
Please give examples of 3 non verbal skills without SPEAKING.
Examples: Eye contact, body language, facial expression
Kiersten wants to paint the shared office space sparkly green. Jackson disagrees, saying it will be distracting and that glitter will get all over our belongings and electronics. Kiersten is sad, shuts down and chooses not to speak anymore, to Jackson or anyone.
What would a healthier, more assertive and helpful response have been?
A) Kiersten screams in anger
B) Kiersten telling Jackson over and over why they want the room sparkly green
C) Kiersten does a magic trick to distract Jackson
D) Kiersten respecting Jackson's perspective, hearing them out, and trying to come up with a compromise
D
If a dog is wagging its tail, does it always mean it is happy?
Not always! It depends on the tail's speed and height; a very stiff, slow wag can sometimes mean they are nervous or unsure. It's good to pay attention to all animals body language so we can treat them with respect and care.