Dialectics
True or False: Dialectical thinking means considering 50% of one extreme view and 50% of another extreme view.
What is False?
Dialectics involves moving away from extreme emotional responses towards balanced responses to life situations.
This acronym helps you ask for what you want while prioritizing relationships.
What is DEARMAN GIVE?
This skill involves reinforcing small steps to lead toward a bigger goal. For example, rewarding yourself with ice cream every time you submit a job application to get to the bigger goal of obtaining a job.
What is Shaping?
This kind of behavior in a relationship destroys the quality of the relationship or aspects of yourself like your safety, self-esteem, or your ability to find happiness or peace of mind.
What is relationship destructive behavior?
Which skill is Morgan using?
Morgan tells their boss, “I can’t stay late tonight,” without apologizing excessively or backing down.
What is using FAST to protect self-respect?
A - No (Apologies)
Is the following statement dialectical?
"You are totally wrong about that, and I am right."
What is no?
This letter in GIVE reminds you to act with kindness and patience.
What is G (gentle)?
True or false:
The best way to increase a behavior in someone else is to positively reinforce that person after they behave the way that you want.
What is True?
Positive reinforcement is the best way to promote behavior change.
True or False: The reinforcer should match the request. If the reinforcer is deemed "too little" or "too much", it is not going to work as effectively.
What is True?
Which skill is Chris using?
Chris calmly tells their boss about an unfair workload, validates the boss’s perspective, stays firm, and offers a solution that could work for both.
What is using DEAR MAN with GIVE skills (validation, negotiation, describe, mindful)?
What dialectical words do we use instead of "either/or"?
What are both/and?
This FAST skill involves sticking to the facts and being honest in your communication
What is T - be truthful?
Is the following statement validating?
"Don't worry so much about getting a bad grade. I'm sure that you will do better next time!"
What is No?
Validating involves validating their experiences of getting a bad grade and potential disappointment they may feel.
Is the following relationship interfering or relationship destroying and why?
Jim calls Bob telling him that he will have dinner ready by 7 and wants Bob to come home at that time. Bob rushes home, leaving behind a project that he has not finished, to make it in time for dinner. Jim does not have dinner ready yet.
What is relationship interfering?
Relationship interfering behaviors blocks or hinders your pursuit of goals that are important for you, your ability to enjoy life and do things you like, your relationships with another person or interferes with the welfare of people you love. Since Jim hindered Bob's pursuit of work goals, this behavior is relationship interfering. This can be remedied with problem solving.
DAILY DOUBLE BONUS: COMPLETE A BRIEF DEARMAN.
Scenario: Saying "no" to a friend using DEARMAN.
D - describe; E - express; A - assert; R - reinforce; M - mindful; A- appear confident; N - negotiate
A key dialectic in DBT is remembering that change is transactional. Provide an example of this dialectic.
Each person influences the environment and each environment influences that person.
Example: You're influenced by your teacher and your teacher is influenced by the class.
Dana listens without interrupting and avoids sarcasm while their friend vents about work stress.
What is using GIVE (Gentle, Interested, Validate, Easy manner)?
A child says a curse word and the parent laughs which positively reinforces the child. This happens a few times. Now, the child uses the undesired word frequently. The parent does not want the child to use this word so they stop laughing.
What is Extinction?
Extinction stops ongoing reinforcement of behavior by setting a limit or stopping the reinforcement of the behavior.
Which of the following is NOT a consideration when making a request or saying no?
a) Am I responsible for telling the telling the person what to do? (Authority)
b) Is asking important to a long-term goal? (Goals)
c) Do I want them to like me? (Pleasing)
d) Do I give as much as I get with this person? (Give and take)
What is C (pleasing)?
What skill is Sasha using?
Sasha listens to her sister vent about a breakup. While validating her, Sasha also asserts her need to end the call after 30 minutes due to work.
What is combining GIVE and DEAR MAN to balance support with boundary-setting?
Includes interest in others, validation, assert + describe
DAILY DOUBLE BONUS - For the following interpersonal myth, identify:
1. Kernel of truth
2. The other side of the dialectic
“I don’t deserve to get what I want or need.”
Kernel of truth: What is "I will not always get what I want and need"?
Other side: What is "AND at the same time, it doesn't mean that I can't ask for what I want (or that "I don't deserve it")?
In a heated discussion between Alex and his partner, Alex tries to ask his partner to stop interrupting him.
Alex practices staying calm, repeating their request, and not getting pulled into distractions.
What is using the "M" part of DEAR MAN (Mindful)?
The GIVE skill outlines multiple levels of validation. Name two.
Total of 6 levels:
1. Pay attention
2. Reflect Back
3. "Read Minds"
4. Understand
5. Acknowledge the Valid
6. Show Equality
For the following interpersonal myth, identify:
1. Kernel of truth
2. The other side of the dialectic
“I must be really inadequate if I can't fix this myself”
Kernel of truth: I may wish I could handle everything alone/I want to handle things by myself AND
Other side: It's okay to ask for help if I don't know how to solve something/my needing support is not proof of inadequacy/asking for help doesn't define my worth.
Harper tells her family she’s not attending a reunion due to past emotional harm. She stays calm, asserts herself, avoids defensiveness, and prioritizes her mental health.
What is using FAST with DEAR MAN to uphold boundaries and values?
Includes assert, mindful, no apologies, stick to values