DBT #1
What are the three goals, and priorities of Interpersonal Effectiveness?
1. Keeping and maintaining healthy relationships. (GIVE)
2. Getting somebody to do what you want (DEAR MAN)
3. Maintaining your self respect (FAST)
What does the D in DEAR MAN represent?
Describe
Describe the situation. Stick to the facts.
What does the 2nd A in DEAR MAN represent?
Appear Confident.
Make and maintain eye contact. Use a confident voice, do not whisper, mumble, or give up and say "whatever."
What does the G in the GIVE Skill represent?
Gentle
What does the T in the FAST skill represent?
Truthful
Don't lie
Don't act helpless when you are not
Don't make up excuses or exaggerate
What is the give skill?
Approaching someone in an easy manner, being gentle, interesting and validating to their thoughts and emotions.
What does the E in DEAR MAN represent?
Express
Express your feelings by using "I" statements.
What does the N in DEAR MAN represent?
Negotiate
Be willing to give, to get. Offer alternative solutions to the problem.
What does the I in the GIVE Skill represent?
Interested
Wise Mind
What stops you from achieving your goals?
Lack of skills, worry thoughts, emotions, can't decide (what you really want), environment.
What does the 1st A in DEAR MAN represent?
Assert
What does the F in the FAST skill represent?
Fair
Be fair to yourself and the other person.
What does the V in the GIVE Skill represent?
Validate.
What factors would you consider when asking for what you want, or saying "no" to an unwanted request?
Priorities, Capability, Timeliness, Preparation, Relationship, Give and Take.
What skill would you use, when getting someone to do what you want?
DEAR MAN
What does the R in DEAR MAN represent?
Reinforce.
Reward, or reinforce the person ahead of time by explaining the positive effects of getting what you want.
What does the A in the FAST skill represent?
Apologies
Do not over apologize for your behavior, for making a request or for being you.
What does the E in the GIVE skill represent.
Easy Manner
The skill you would use when wanting to make peace, reduce conflict, and reduce anger.
THINK
What skill would you be using, if you were trying to maintain your self respect?
FAST SKILLS
What does the M in DEAR MAN represent?
Mindful
Keep your focus on what you want, avoiding distractions.
What does the S in the FAST skill represent?
Stick to Values
Stick to your own values, and opinions.
Do not "sell out" to what what you want, to fit in, or to avoid saying no.
You would use the GIVE Skill, in what situation?
Building and maintaining positive relationships.
Decode the acronym for THINK
T
H
I
N
K
Think
Have Empathy
Interpretations
Notice
Use Kindness