DEARMAN
What does the "D" in DEARMAN mean? Give an Example
Describe
Describe current situation and stick to the facts
What does the "G" in GIVE mean
Be Gentle - Be nice and respectful no attacks, threats, judgement, or sneering
What does the T in FAST mean
Be Truthful
GIVE
You: If you don't do this, I'll tell all your friends
Gentle wasn't used
No Threats
Feather Game
Whoever keeps their feather the longest wins - Doesn't drop feather or keeps it in the air longest
This encourages deep breathing
What is this an example of?
Boss: We can't give you a $2.00 raise, but we can give you a $1.00 raise.
You: Would it be okay if I got a $1.00 raise and a better office
Negotiation
What does the E In GIVE mean
Use an Easy Manner - Smile, use a little humor, no attitude
Come up with a joke!
"Hold your ground" would be what part of FAST?
S - Stick to Values
FAST
Friend: The fact that you're asking this is rude
You: I'm sorry
Friend: And why bring it up now?
You: I'm sorry
No Apologies wasn't used
It's okay to have your own opinion and not agree
Everyone
List 3 mindfulness techniques without repeating the other person's
Rock paper scissors to determine who goes first
Only you were able to do it? - all Points
Two people able to do it? - 100 points each
Three people? - uhhhh lets just say 70 points each for a total of 210
What does the "E" in DEARMAN. Give an Example
Express
List every part of GIVE
Gentle
Interested
Validate
Easy Manner
What's in Every Jeopardy Game?
Free Space! You Welcome :)
You: I only get a thirty minute break (You actually get an hour)
Truthful wasn't used
You can't lie to get what you want
Everyone get to know each other
Everyone - 2 Truths and a Lie
1 v 1
Were you the only one to get it right? - All the points to you
Did two of you get it right? - Split the points (150)
Did three of you get it right? - Everyone (100)
What is this an example of?
Friend: You should hang out with me right now
You: No, I told you I'm busy, and I'm asking for more notice in advance.
Assert
What is this an example of?
You are annoyed, but you lean forward to listen and make sure you don't appear annoyed
Acting interested
With the A in FAST (No Apologies) how should you NOT PRESENT yourself?
DEARMAN
Friend: I didn't know you felt that way
You: Well you should have been able to tell
Express wasn't used
Don't assume the friend knows/can read your mind
Everyone do TEN jumping jacks
Who finished first? - They get the points
Feel you finished first? Use DEARMAN
What does the "R" in DEARMAN mean? Go into some detail
Reinforce
Reward the person ahead of time - emphasize positive effects of getting what you want. Reward desirred behavior after the fact. You don't have to say this verbatim
With Validate in GIVE - do you validate with words or action?
Trick question - Both!
Are you fair to yourself or the other person
Another trick - Both
DEARMAN
Friend: Well I want to talk about this instead
You: Okay, we'll talk about that for a second instead.
Mindful wasn't used
It's important to stay on topic
Musical Chairs No fighting
There's videos on YouTube that will stop the music automatically so no one cheats
Winner gets 500!
If you fought - Only the ones who didn't fight can split the points