DEARMAN
This is the goal of DEARMAN.
Getting what you want.
This is the goal of GIVE skill.
To build strong relationships.
This is the goal of the FAST skill.
Maintaining self-respect and boundaries during conflict.
What is Validation?
A tool to communicate understanding and build stronger communication and relationships.
This kind of communication usually results in giving in to others, not getting what you need, and shame
Passive
D stands for Describe, our first DEARMAN step, and this is why it's important.
Describing the situation before asking for what we wants prevent people jumping to 'no' or other conclusions.
What the G in GIVE, Gentle (in your approach), means.
Being mindful of the other person's emotions
Apologizing is a skill, but what does FAST mean by 'no apologies?'
No unwarranted apologies when you haven't done something wrong.
This step of validation confirms that you are understanding what the person is trying to communicate.
Reflect Back
This boundary includes not compromising your own values and knowing what you want.
Healthy Boundaries
DEAR is about the main steps of the skill. MAN is about this aspect of the skill.
How you go about the steps.
Doing any of these things could help portray Interest in what someone else is saying.
Sticking to these during a fight can ensure you are true to yourself and aligned with what you want.
Values
These are the categories of the circle of trust.
People you are closest to, people you trust, people you know
This boundary style is often over-involved with others, dependent on others' opinions, and struggles to say no out of fear of rejection.
Porous Boundaries
N is this aspect of DEARMAN.
Negotiate
Confirming what the other person is saying and that you understand is the core of this skill.
VALIDATE
Fair, (No) Apologies, Stick to your Values, Truth
When using validation, we only validate the _____
Valid
This skill highlights identifying and letting go of toxic people or behaviors
Burning Bridges
This is what DEARMAN stands for.
DESCRIBE, EXPRESS ASSERT, REINFORCE, MINDFULNESS, APPEAR CONFIDENT, NEGOTIATE
Describe a situation in which using GIVE could be helpful.
(Example).
FAST can require other skills in order to use it. Name a skill that can help you utilize FAST
Healthy boundaries, What/How Skills, Mindfulness, Validation
True or False: Validation means agreeing
False
Name THREE qualities found in ASSERTIVE communication.
Honest, Direct, Makes eye-contact, Respectful, Welcoming, Sets Boundaries without Guilty, Clearly Communicates and Asks for Needs to be Met