Recovery Songs
Behavioral Stress/Trauma Response
Coping Skills
Personal Growth
Stress Management Skills
100

"They tried to make me go to [blank], but I said no no no..." - Amy Winehouse

What is "rehab"?

100

Precontemplation Patterns P. A-46

Unhelpful Behaviors may include:

• having difficulty identifying what they are feeling.

• minimizing, altering, or denying how they truly feel.

• perceiving themselves as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of other people.

• lacking empathy for the feelings and needs of others.

• labeling other people with their own negative traits, of which they may not be aware.

• thinking they can take care of themselves without any help from one else.

• masking pain with other things like: anger, humor, or isolation.

• expressing negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways.

• not recognizing the unavailability of the people to whom they are attracted.

100

Name two coping skills that can be use to lower emotional stress.

What is journaling, breathing exercises, talking, listening to music, attending counselor meetings. etc.

100

Name something you are grateful for and why?

What is family, children, friends, a hobby, church, a job, pets, health, being alive, etc.

100

Is distraction a healthy coping skill?

Distraction methods are about reducing your contact with whatever (people, places, thoughts, situations) is causing you distress. These tools are useful in situations where it is not appropriate to express your negative emotions. YOU CAN DISTRACT YOURSELF UNTIL YOU ARE IN A DIFFERENT SITUATION WHERE IT IS APPROPRIATE TO EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS. Distraction is also a useful tool to use when your emotions are too intense to deal with directly. After you have distracted yourself from the emotion for a while, you will likely find that you can return to feeling it with less intensity and thus be able to make a more effective decision about how to express or deal with the emotion.

200

"Somebody save me, me from [blank]" - Jelly Roll 

What is "myself"? 

200

Low Self-esteem Patterns

Unhelpful Behaviors may include: P. A-46

Low Self-esteem Patterns

Unhelpful Behaviors may include:

• having difficulty making decisions.

• harshly judging what they think, say, or do, as never good enough.

• being embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts.

• valuing other people's approval of their thinking, feelings, and behavior over their own.

• not perceiving themselves as lovable or worthy people.

• seeking recognition and praise to overcome feeling inadequate or feeling less than someone else.

• having difficulty admitting to a mistake.

• needing to appear to be right in the eyes of others, and may even lie in an attempt to look good.

• being unable to identify, and/or ask for what they need and want.

• perceiving themselves as superior to other people.

• looking to someone else to provide their sense of safety.

• having difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects.

• having trouble setting healthy priorities and boundaries for themselves.

200

Name three negative coping skills. 

What is self harm, substance abuse, withdrawal/isolation, bottling up feelings, etc. 

200

Name one goal you have for when you are  Treatment complete and stable in your Recovery?

What is spend more time with family, start a new job, spend more time doing things you love, go on vacation, open a business, get married, have kids...etc.

200

Healthy ways of using the distraction method?

ACTIVITIES: Distracting yourself by getting involved in an activity that has nothing to do with your negative emotions can help you to keep your thoughts, and thus your emotions, on more neutral or positive things. This skill will also prevent you from thinking over and over about the distressing situation, which almost always increases the intensity of your negative emotions. 

CONTRIBUTING: Distracting yourself by focusing on the needs of others, instead of your own needs, for a short period of time, can help to remind you that you are not the only person who has problems. Helping others can also increase one’s sense of meaning in life and/or one’s self respect, both of which tend to improve one’s overall mood.

PUSHING AWAY: Physically leaving a situation that is causing distress or blocking your mind from thinking about the distressing situation are ways of temporarily distracting yourself from the negative emotions.



300

"Cause I don't ever want to feel like I did that day. Take me to the [blank] [blank] [blank]." - Red Hot Chili Peppers 

What is "place I love"?

300

Compliance Patterns

Unhelpful Behaviors may include: P. A-46

• being extremely loyal, and remaining in harmful situations too long.

• compromising their own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.

• putting aside their own interests in order to do what other people want to do.

• being afraid to express their own beliefs, opinions, and feelings; especially when different from someone else's

• accepting sexual attention when they want love from someone.

• making decisions without regard to or consideration of the consequences.

• giving up their truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change.

• being hyper-vigilant regarding the feelings of other people and taking on those feelings as their own

300

Name three symptoms of relapse.

What is tension, agitation, and irritability?

300

Name two things you like about yourself and why?

What is a sense of humor, positive outlook, talent, your smile, etc. 

300

Once I distract myself from a stressful situation or emotion, am I done?

It is incredibly important to be clear that NONE OF THE ABOVE DISTRACTION TOOLS ARE TO BE USED AS THE ONLY WAY TO COPE WITH AND MANAGE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS. These tools are designed to help you get through a highly distressing situation without reacting impulsively in ways that cause even more problems in your life. DISTRACTION IS A SHORT-TERM STRATEGY. The goal is always to return to feeling the negative emotion when you are in a safe place and use your new coping skills to identify effective ways to manage the distressing situation.

400

"I'm not afraid to [blank] [blank] [blank]." - Eminem 

What is "take a stand?"

400

Control Patterns

Unhelpful Behaviors may include: See page A-46

• believing people are incapable of taking care of themselves.

• attempting to convince other people what to think, do, or feel.

• freely offering advice and direction without being asked for it.

• becoming resentful when someone declines their help or rejects their advice.

• lavishing gifts and favors on people they want to influence.

• using sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance from someone.

• having to feel needed in order to have a relationship with someone.

• demanding that their needs be met by other people.

• using charm and charisma to convince others of their capacity to be caring and compassionate.

• using blame and shame to emotionally exploit another person.

• refusing to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate.

• adopting an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes.

• using recovery jargon in an attempt to control the behavior of others.

• pretending to agree with someone to get what they want.

400

How can socializing with others be used a coping skill? 

Socializing with others decreases feeling of loneliness and stress. It increases feelings of enjoyment and happiness. 

400

On a scale of 1 to 10, where are you at in your recovery? What is one step you plan to take this week to improve?

Individual responses will vary!

400

What is Self-Soothing?

Self-soothing involves learning to be comforting, nurturing, and gentle with yourself when you are experiencing distress. If we were lucky, when we were children, our parents, older siblings, and other caregivers soothed us when we were upset. 

An important part of becoming an effective adult, however, is learning to do this for yourself. People often run into two difficulties in this area. They may either rely on others to soothe them, causing constant dependency and/or resentment, or they may criticize themselves for needing soothing at all.

500

"And it's been a while since I can hold my [blank] [blank] [blank]." -Staind 

What is "head up high"?

500

Avoidance Patterns

Unhelpful Behaviors may include: See p.A-46


• acting in ways that invites someone to reject, shame, or express anger toward them.

• judging other people harshly for what they think, say, or do.

• avoiding intimacy (emotional, physical, or sexual) as a way to maintain distance.

• allowing addictions to people, places, and things to distract them from achieving intimacy in relationships.

• using indirect or evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation with someone.

• diminishing their capacity to have healthy relationships by declining to use the tools of recovery.

• suppressing their feelings &/or needs in order to avoid feeling vulnerable.

• pulling someone toward them, then pushing them away when they come close.

• refusing to give up their self-will to avoid surrendering to a power greater than themselves.

• believing that displays of emotion are a sign of weakness.

• withholding expressions of appreciation

500

How can creating art be used as a coping skill?

Art can be used as a way to express your emotions/feelings and also slow down your thoughts and put you in a reflective almost meditative state, easing stress symptoms.

500

Name one relationship you hope to repair while working through the recovery process?

Individual answers will vary!

500

What is improving the moment you are in? How can I practice this?

Improving the moment is replacing current negative experiences with more positive ones. Some ways for improving the moment are changing how you are thinking about yourself or the situation. Some involve changing how your body responds to events. Others have to do with acceptance and letting go. 

o IMAGERY – This skill can be used to distract, soothe bolster courage and confidence, and make future rewards more present in your mind. You can imagine an entirely different situation than the one you are currently in or you can imagine yourself responding to the current situation with confidence and/or calmness. To have this sill work well for you in times of crisis, it is very important that you practice it when you are feeling calm or experiencing low levels of distress. If you know in advance that you will be in a difficult situation, you can also use imagery to imagine how you will handle the situation, practicing your response in your mind. Research shows this really works!

o MEANING – Finding or creating meaning in times of crisis helps many people in times of crisis. Ones’ worldview and/or spiritual/religious beliefs are a way to find meaning. Other examples of finding meaning might include the beliefs, “No pain, no gain,” or “I am feeling stupid because of an old core belief I picked up. I can choose to feel more capable by reminding myself of smart things I have done.”

o Prayer – If you believe in a higher power, you can call on this power for strength, guidance, 

and support during this difficult time.

o RELAXATION – Change how your body responds to stress and crisis. Often people tense their bodies as if by keeping them tense, they can actually make the situation change. They try to control the situation by controlling their bodies. The goal here is to accept reality with the body. The body communicates with the mind. Take 10 deep belly breaths, count your breaths, use progressive muscle relaxation, etc. And, again, these techniques will only work in times of crisis if you have practiced them when feeling calm. 

o DOING ONE THING AT A TIME – Although it can be very difficult to do, focusing on one thing in the moment can be very helpful in the middle of a crisis; it can provide time to settle down. The secret of this skill is to remember that the only pain one has to survive is, “just this moment.” We all often suffer much more than is required by calling to mind past suffering and ruminating about future suffering we may have to endure. But, in reality, there is only “just this moment.”

o TAKING A BREAK – Taking a “vacation from adulthood” is either retreating into oneself or allowing oneself to be taken care of by someone else for the moment. The trick is to take the vacation in a way that does not harm you (that means taking the time to think through potential consequences before taking the vacation) and to make sure the vacation is brief. It should only last from a few moments to a day. When you have responsibilities, taking a vacation depends on getting someone else to take over your duties. Examples include a short catnap, a slow walk around the block, watching a funny YouTube video, or getting a cup of coffee/tea.

o ENCOURAGEMENT – Cheerleading oneself! The idea is to talk to yourself as you would talk to someone you care about who is in a crisis. Or talk to yourself as you would have someone else talk to you. Make sure to give yourself kudos if you are distressed but not resort to old behaviors.

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