WWJD
If this activity was drug dealing, Jared would be El Chapo
What is Facebook Marketplace?
Many people have stories of bad ex girlfriends. One of Jared's earned this colorful nickname after causing him to run over a dog
Who is Buttface?
Who is Brian Urlacher?
Channeling his inner Cody Maverick, this quote is a fan favorite when Jared is looking for a little motivation
What is " 'Cody's just a bum.' 'Cody's this' 'Cody's that' "Cody's this.' Cody's me, bro. Let me be me. When is that going to start? "?
The Lovejoy High School class of 2020 wouldn't be what it is today without noah winning this award
What is Most Well Rounded?
You might see pictures of Jared from freshman year and think "Man, he's Jacked" or "Dang, why does his hairline look like that?" and it's because he did this
What is SARMs?
He's normally Jared Kane, Dr. Kane in the lab, Chef Kane in the kitchen, but when he steps in the bathroom, he's this
Who is MudPieMaster69?
This power-hitting catcher went from La Cueva Bear to New Mexico Lobo to World Series Champion
Who is Mitch Garver?
What Jared would say sticking his head out of a moving car window like a dog
What it "SPRING BREAK"?
Noah Cooper completed this legendary athletic feat on May 28th 2023
Jared finally found the one, so he doesn't have to do this. His favorite thing to do before going on a date with a girl
What is sit in his room and stare blankly at a wall regretting every decision that led him to that point?
Jared loves his big in BYX. He would use this nickname to describe the tandem of that big and his former roommate
Who are Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch?
This sharpshooter led the New Mexico Lobos to the 2005 NCAA Tournament by winning the MWC Tournament before falling to the 5 seed Villanova (and then went on to be an all star with the Indiana Pacers)
Who is Danny Granger?
Jared sometimes says things that don't make sense, his response is usually this
What is "I don't make sense, I make dollars"?
Its hard to be a three sport athlete in the these three sports at Lovejoy High School but Noah Cooper did it.
What is Band, Bowling, and Selling coupon cards during football offseason for our booster club?
Note for coffee brands: Make sure you set up your discount codes properly before putting them on google, or else Jared will get this
What is hundreds of dollars worth of free coffee beans?
Jared loves dogs. So much so he named his vacuum this like it's a dog
Who is Tyger?
When this New Mexico resident and legendary MMA fighter isn't doing drugs he's telling middle school Jared not to do drugs while he's on drugs
Who is Jon "Bones" Jones?
This is Jared's favorite pickleball score because its his phone number
What is 2-5-1?
If it wasn't for other unfortunate events, this would have been Noah's least favorite part of his summer as a Pine Cove Counselor
What is going viral on Tik Tok?
Imagine this: You're in high school. You just won the New Mexico Baseball State Championship. Dudes are handing you beers. This is what you do with them.
What is fake drink them, poor them out, and make your drunk teammates think you're pounding beers?
I don't think Jared has ever actually called me this verbally, but it's my contact name in his phone
Who is Jack Jack the Buttcrack?
This Eldorado High School product became the third overall pick in the 1986 NFL draft out of Purdue and was most known for his time quarterbacking the Los Angeles Rams (and dating Jared's mom in high school...)
Who is Jim Everett?
Jared often says this to describe where he's from when, in fact, the part of Albuquerque, New Mexico Jared is from is definitely not this
What is The Slums?
This legendary quote came from Noah's dad after picking up clutch strike in a BYX bowling tournament that Noah lost for us
What is "I'm Back!"?