Broderisms
POV: One of your (Dad's) dogs has presented himself for a petting
(Slapping/tapping motion)
"I gots the old rumblin' tum."
-Nenny or Cousin Greg?
Cousin Greg
Shakespearean soccer movie in which the lead actress plays both main roles
She's The Man
A vendor/player is using the soccer field without a permit. Shall you allow them to stay there?
You shall not
This British R&B singer was diagnosed with tonsilitis shortly before he was set to perform at the Hollywood Bowl in September 2019
Michael Kiwanuka
POV: You (Dad) learn that Nenny is up to no good (but you're not really mad about it)
"Ro-wyn!"
"I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona"
-Harper or an Arrested Development character?
Arrested Development (Lucille Bluth)
A classic comedy featuring Will Ferrell coaching his kid, who sucks at playing soccer
Kicking & Screaming
You just bought a hot dog and the only available condiment is ketchup. Shall you dispense said ketchup onto your dog?
You shall/shall not
Crazy Heart
POV: You (Dad) look out the window to see your middle daughter crouched by the pool smoking the devil's lettuce
Mark "Big Eyes" Lambert face -- wide eyes, horrified expression
"Why are all the Jews wearing masks?"
-Grandpa or Donald Trump?
Grandpa
A soccer star (and his spicy wife) appear in the post-credits scene of this film, titled after his name and signature move
Bend It Like Beckham
You shall not
Another way of saying "Cuts on Cuarenta y Cinco"
Scars on 45
A phrase Mom and Dad coined after their eldest child would get mad at herself for not knowing something
"I didn't know!"
"Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backwards."
-Cammie or Draco Malfoy?
Draco
The second-biggest star of the 2022 FIFA World Cup and the star of the second-biggest movie last summer share this name
Kylian / Cillian
Someone is watching a loud movie upstairs. Shall you ask them to turn it down?
You shall
The subject of hit songs by both Natalie Merchant and Loudon Wainwright III -- one favorable, the other not so much
Weather
Once upon a time, Dad's oldest nephew expressed a longing for nourishment. Now, this is what Dad says when he feels the same way:
"Hongry!"
“Let’s go to brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now you’re thinking.”
-Bill Burr or Dad?
Bill Burr
Originating from cricket, this term would describe when a bowler took three wickets from three consecutive balls and got a little hat to celebrate.
Hat trick
An organization is being run incompetently and you know you could do 100000 times better. Shall you take the reins?
Bob Marley