Hard riddles
What has a ring but no fingers?
What is a phone.
I’m the rare case when today comes before yesterday. What am I?
A dictionary.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
What do you call a fake noodle?
Impasta.
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?
What is a map.
What gets bigger the more you take away?
A hole.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the lyrics.
What's a foot long and slippery?
A slipper.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What is seen in the middle of March and April that can’t be seen at the beginning or end of either month?
What is the letter "R".
What has four fingers and a thumb, but isn’t alive?
A glove.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What does a banana say when he answers the phone?
Yellow
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam!
Your friend is having a wedding but you don't go. You want a boat and look in a boat shop for hours until you find the right one. There is a river nearby and you decide to take your boat out for a swim. After about 30 minutes on the water, you see a cruise boat. You think that that must be the cruise boat from your friend's wedding. When they arrive at shore, the boat has not sunk but not a single person gets off. Why?
Because everyone on board was married.
If you have me, you will want to share me. If you share me, you will no longer have me. What am I?
A secret
What's am astronaut's favorite part of a computer?
The space bar.
What did one eye say to the other?
Between you and me, something smells!
What two things can you never eat for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner.
The man who built it doesn't want it, the man who bought doesn't need it, the man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?
A coffin.
What gets wet when drying?
A towel.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
Why was cinderella kicked off the football team?
She ran away from the ball.
What word is spelled incorrectly in the dictionary?
Incorrectly.