Rhyme Time
Before & After
Christmas Classics in Too Many Words
KING ARTHUR'S VERY PUNNY KNIGHTS
Potent Potables
100

A fat-free monarch

a lean queen

100

A venue for volleys & lobs where violators of military law are prosecuted

a tennis court-martial

100

I have sufficiently prepared my home for the welcoming of an African mammal, with an average weight of 2,900 to 3,300 pounds

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas

100

This knight was so plump his belly was equal to pi times his diameter

Sir Cumference 


100

On a cold wintry night, warm up with a traditional hot buttered this drink

rum

200

A hex even more heinous than the last

a worse curse

200

Actor lookalike who does the dangerous action scenes as an iconic red London vehicle

a stunt double decker (bus)

200

Given the choice of every single item on the face of the planet, my only gift request is the person who I am singing to.  

All I want for christmas is you

200

He told everyone of his skills for when Britain became even more anarchic, like finding food & shelter & making fires in the wild

Sir Vivalist

200

Ilchester is a cheese created in 1962 by adding this potent potable to Cheddar

beer

300

Feeble Athenian stream

a weak greek creek

300

A newspaper cartoon disrobes to play a card game

comic strip poker

300

During the current yuletide season, I will attempt to profess my love to a more qualified partner.  

Last Christmas

300

For a boundary dispute with a rival king, King Arthur called on this knight equipped to settle the issue

Sir Veyor

300

Gusano Rojo is a popular brand of this tequila relative known for sometimes having a worm in the bottle

mescal

400

Jargon for the "parlor" game in which players mark off numbers on a card

bingo lingo

400

US capital newspaper-caused psychological pain following an event of actual or threatened bodily harm

the Washington Post traumatic stress disorder

400

Mr. Claus, have I mentioned how handsome you are? That red hat really works wonders on you. Also, can I please have diamond jewelry and a fancy car?  

Santa Baby

400

This knight had rhythm! Though sadly more to do with 24-hour time periods than with music

Sir Cadian

400

This type of booze is also a letter in the NATO phonetic alphabet

Whisky

500

Someone more rapid of movement when he begins fly fishing

a faster caster

500

Crockett & Tubbs vie with Gamby & Russell for a new school position

Miami Vice Principals

500

The story of an explorer with a natural gift for navigation, ostracized by his peers, who became a legend thanks to a nasal abnormality.  

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

500

He always took the kind of route named for him--6 hours of twists & turns for what should be a 2-hour ride back to Camelot

Sir Pentine (Sir Cuitous)

500

This yellow-green liqueur is made by Carthusian monks

Chartreuse

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