Anger reducers
What is the 1st step in the 5 steps of problem Solving?
Define the problem
What is the 1st stage of Anger?
What is the term of thinking when you see things in black and white? If a situation falls short of perfect, you see it as a total failure.
All or nothing thinking
What is an "I" statment
Statement of your feelings that does not blame or judge the other person.
What is the second step in the problem solving cycle?
Brainstorm a solution.
Anger can't exist without these 2 factors, what are they?
Feeling wronged and a target
What does it mean when you jump to conclusions?
Interpret things negatively when there are no facts to support your conclusion.
Change the following "you" statement into an "I" statement.
You never call me when I ask you to!
I wish we would talk on the phone more
What is the problem?
What are the possible solutions?
Rebecca is at a store when she comes across a new pair of sunglasses she wants. When counting her money, she realizes she is $5 shy of being able to afford them. These are the last pair of sunglasses left and when and she really wants them. Rebecca fears they may be gone by the time she gets enough money to pay for them. Rebecca considers putting them in her purse and leaving the store.
Problem- Rebecca is short $5 from getting the last pair of sunglasses she really wants. Rebecca is considering stealing them before she comes back with the money and they are sold out.
Possible Solutions-
-Ask if the sunglasses can be put on hold
-Do not steal the sunglasses and talk self out of stealing them
-steal the sunglasses
-call a friend/relative to see if they can loan the money
Name a physical reaction to anger
ex. feeling hot
rapid breathing
tightening of muscles
enlarged pupils
clenched jaw
Name the thinking error:
Lisa did not make the freshman volleyball team for this year. Lisa now fears to try out for volleyball or any other sport in the future due to expecting to not make the team again.
Overgeneralization
Change the following "you" statement into an "I" statements.
You are so annoying when you tease me!
I feel sad when I get teased on.
What is the 3rd step in the problem solving cycle?
Pick a solution
Name an emotion you can confuse anger with
disappointment
fear
frustration
resentment
stress
Give an example of the thinking error victim stance
What a person blames others for their actions that they have responsibility for.
Ex. Joe keeps running away from home and gets unruly charges since the cops are called by his guardians. Joe blames his guardians for him getting in trouble and having multiple charges.
Change the following "you" statement into an "I" statement.
Why do you always lock the door before I get home? It takes forever for you to answer it and you make me knock over and over again.
I feel frustrated when I come home and the door is locked. When I knock repeatedly and no one answers ,I start to think no one is home and I won't be able to get in.
Identify the:
-problem
-possible solutions
-the pros and cons of the solutions
Your parents are out of town for the weekend and they trust you to keep watch of the house for the weekend. Your best friend is urging you to throw a big party.
Problem: Your parents are trusting you to watch the house for the weekend while they are gone, but your friend is wanting you to throw a party.
Solutions: Have the party and go against your parents trust. Tell your friend no, but the possibility of disappointing your friend.
Pros and cons:
pros to having party: you could have fun, look like the cool guy, your popularity increases
cons to having party: you could get caught, lose parents trust, someone get hurt in your house, things get broken in your house
pros to not having party: you keep your parents trust, you don't have to worry about the "what ifs."
cons to not having a party: you could lose a friend, have others think you are no fun
What are the ABC's of Anger?
A-What Happened
B- What did you do
C- What was the result of your behavior
What is the thinking error of "filtering."
Take focus only on the negative details from a situation and filter out all the positives aspects.
Change the following "you" statement into an "I" statement.
You are never listening to me. You are constantly interrupting me and being rude.
I feel like I am not being heard. I would like to be able to have time to speak in conversations.