Anger Basics
What is the difference between healthy and unhealthy anger?
Healthy anger expresses feelings or concerns without intentionally harming, threatening, or controlling others.
WHICH PART OF THE BRAIN IS IMPULSIVE AND AUTOMATIC: THE PRIMITIVE BRAIN OR THE EVOLVED BRAIN?
The Primitive Brain (reptilian brain + mammalian/limbic brain). The Evolved Brain, or neocortex, is the reasonable, thinking part.
WHICH BRANCH OF THE NERVOUS SYSTEM TURNS ON FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT?
The sympathetic nervous system (SNS). It releases adrenaline and cortisol, speeding the heart and tensing the body.
TRUE OR FALSE: SHAME IS SOMETHING ONLY SOME PEOPLE EVER EXPERIENCE.
False. The workbook calls shame an inevitable human experience. Everyone has felt inadequate, inferior, or unacceptable at times.
WHICH COMMUNICATION STYLE CARRIES THE MESSAGE "I'M SUPERIOR AND RIGHT, AND YOU'RE INFERIOR AND WRONG"?
Aggressive communication. (Passive holds needs back; assertive states them respectfully.)
Name three behaviors that might get someone into trouble when they are angry.
Emotional (feelings), Cognitive (thoughts, the inner voice), and Physical (tension, sweating, fast heartbeat, shallow breathing).
THIS PRIMITIVE BRAIN STRUCTURE ACTS AS A RAPID THREAT SCANNER AND PROCESSES ANGER AND FEAR.
The amygdala. Information reaches it faster than it reaches the thinking brain, which is why we can react before we think.
WHICH BRANCH CALMS THE BODY DOWN, AND WHICH NERVE DOES DIAPHRAGMATIC BREATHING SWITCH ON?
The parasympathetic nervous system (PSNS), activated through the vagus nerve.
WHY DO SOME PEOPLE SWAP THE FEELING OF SHAME FOR ANGER?
Anger takes them out of feeling unacceptable or "small." You can't feel angry and small at the same time, so anger feels more powerful.
FINISH THE ASSUMPTION BEHIND ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION: "YOU AND I HAVE DIFFERENCES, AND..."
"...we are mutually responsible for expressing ourselves respectfully to each other."
TRUE OR FALSE: HEALTHY ANGER IS KEPT QUIET AND HELD IN SO NOBODY GETS HURT.
False. Healthy anger fits the situation, is expressed in words, discussed, and let go. It is not used to punish, control, or manipulate. Anger held in until it explodes is unhealthy.
WHAT IS NEUROPLASTICITY, AND WHY IS IT GOOD NEWS FOR ANGER MANAGEMENT?
The brain's ability to grow new neurons and rewire itself, pruning unused pathways. Practicing new responses again and again can make calm the new habit.
IN THE ICEBERG EXERCISE, ANGER IS THE TIP ABOVE THE WATER. WHAT GOES BELOW THE WATER LINE?
The underlying feelings hidden beneath the anger (for example hurt, fear, embarrassment, sadness).
NAME 2 OF THE 4 KINDS OF ANGER (RAGE) DESCRIBED BY RON POTTER-EFRON.
Any 2 of: Survival anger, Impotent anger, Attachment anger, Shame-anger.
CALMLY REPEATING ONE SHORT, CLEAR SENTENCE UNTIL THE OTHER PERSON GETS YOUR MESSAGE IS CALLED WHAT?
The broken record technique.
ANGER IS A 3-PART PROCESS. NAME THE 3 PARTS.
Stimulus (the trigger), pre-state (the mood you were already in), and appraisal (how you interpret the situation).
S-A-D-H-A-T-S NAMES 7 CONDITIONS THAT PUSH US INTO THE PRIMITIVE BRAIN. NAME THEM.
Stress, Anxiety, Drugs, Hungry, Alcohol, Tired, Sick.
YOUR BODY SENDS WARNING SIGNS BEFORE YOU BLOW UP. NAME 3 OF THEM.
Any 3 of: heart beating fast, fast or shallow breathing, face getting hot, clenched fists or jaw, tight muscles, sweating, feeling shaky or sick to your stomach.Catching these early gives you time to calm down.
WHAT IS "SHADOW MATERIAL"?
Parts of ourselves, negative or positive, that we don't accept or claim as ours. We often see them in other people (projection), while others can see them in us plain as day.
SOMEONE SNAPS, "YOU'RE ALWAYS LATE!" RESPOND USING "AGREEMENT IN PART."
Something like "You're right, I am late sometimes."Agree with the piece that's true and drop the absolute.
NAME 4 CHARACTERISTICS OF PEOPLE WITH ANGER PROBLEMS.
Any 4 of: low frustration tolerance, judgmental/critical reactions, perfectionism, all-or-nothing thinking, possessiveness, poor communication, punitive behavior, addictive personality, using anger to feel more powerful.
ON THE 1 TO 10 ANGER SCALE, IN WHAT RANGE DO YOU NEED TO ASK THE BIG QUESTION, AND WHY?
Roughly 1 to 4. At 5 and above it is too late to reach the Evolved Brain well enough to even ask the question.
TO LOWER STRESS, HOW OFTEN AND FOR HOW LONG DOES THE WORKBOOK RECOMMEND AEROBIC EXERCISE?
3 to 4 times a week, about 20 to 30 minutes, enough to break a sweat and raise your heart rate.
IN THE 3-2-1 SHADOW PROCESS, WHAT DO YOU DO AT 3, 2, AND 1?
3: Face it (describe it in 3rd person), 2: Talk to it (2nd-person dialogue), 1: Be it (speak as it in 1st person).
NAME 3 PRACTICAL SOLUTIONS FROM THE WORKBOOK FOR THE MOMENT ANGER STARTS TO RISE.
Any 3 of: STOP and remember the consequences, take a time out, ask the Big Question, respond rather than react, communicate assertively, check expectations, breathe, and other Module 12 skills.