Weapons of Mass Destruction
Most effective phrase to end backseat fighting
What is “I will turn this car around!”
She graduated top of her class at which prominent university?
What is Iowa State? (Go Cyclones!)
Shedding fuzzy staple on the back of any bathroom door
What is the blue robe?
Copious in quantity, may or may not be used, occasionally wet
What are wads and wads of kleenex?
A trembling, wet little furball two conniving siblings convinced their animal loving mother to bring into the family
Who is Pup?
Waking up on a Saturday morning to this artist blasting from downstairs means you’ll be cleaning allllll day long
Who is Enya?
Contest between a 120 lb lady vs. 200 lb football player
Who is the fishbowl champion?
A heartwarming tale of family, felines, and jazzzzzz
What is The Aristocats?
Curiously strong (and a few rolling around loose)
Red eyed, razor toothed, jumping machine that haunts the dreams of small children.
Weapon of choice to end disputes over who gets which side of the bed
What is the ice bucket?
Drowning in ribbons, this one stood (or should I say flopped) out from the rest
Who is the champion bellyflopper?
Her slightly less optimistic old lady alter ego
Who is Maxine?
Small plastic nothings that seem to be important in the eyes of businesses everywhere
What are credit cards (don’t check the expiration dates)?
A burrito horkin’ pizza lovin’ lump of golden sweetness
Who is Tucker?
Stood no chance against that dumpster
What is a Ford Freestyle?
Best pre-church tool to clear a vehicle of all other passengers
What are mom’s silent and deadly farts?
The target of top secret classified missions to the annual Four Seasons parking lot carnival sans children
What are cheese curds?
Implements for the heating of extremities (impossible to replace faster than kids could steal/lose)
What are thin black gloves?
Little old lady across the way who sometimes just needs a BREAK from her youthful roomie
Who is Hutch?
The watery grave of one little pink serial killer
What is the toilet?
A stretch of I-35 north of Faribault split by a sizable median with dense vegitation
What is Mile Marker 58?
A heartwarming tale of family, nuns, and uhh… yodeling
What is The Sound of Music?
Applied to the face, almost the right color for her
What is a blue eyebrow pencil?
A particularly dark ink stain who has a penchant for leaving piles of vomit in places you would never expect
Who is Atlas?