Sh*t My Dad Says
Coined at the start of Brianne's short-lived career as a child artist, this embarrassing nickname is often said in front of her friends despite ongoing protest
What is Doodle / Doodlebutt?
A cheating ex-girlfriend once drove 3 hours to this site, where she received the most epic and unexpected dumping
What is the lake house?
He's the only Johnson cousin still living in Michigan
Who is Mark?
This neighborhood boy was likely traumatized by Josh's many night terrors growing up
Who is Matt Saville?
This candied fruit is a Christmas stocking tradition
What is a chocolate orange?
This beachy cocktail is not available at Taco Bell, despite Dad's misguided attempt to order it
What is a "Bahama Mama"?
She claimed to be a teen mother, but this was later proven a lie
Who is Ashley?
His name was Paul Johnson, but he was better known to certain grandchildren as this descriptor
What is "Old Man"?
She was Mom's best friend, but most knew her as this colorful nickname
Who is "Red Head Sue"?
Normal people call it "sunny side up," but the Johnsons call it this
What is "dunkel egg"?
Ex-flame Nick Landgraf was mistakenly referred to as this other man's name several times during his first and final visit to the family lake house
Who is Matt?
Although Brianne and Mark weren't officially in a relationship until February 2016, they celebrated this occasion as their anniversary
What is the day they met?
B.A. was famously addicted to this TV network, from which she regularly bought cheesecakes (and then tossed them to the squirrels)
What is QVC?
He wrote a Valentine's Day poem for Brianne in high school, despite living behind the Johnson Family for over a decade
Who is Travis Bennett?
After 5pm, on most days you'll find Mom drinking this brand of beer
What is Budlight?
In 2016, Dad requested this food item -- misspelled via text as "hlpno" -- on his Subway sandwich
What is jalapeno?
This high-school boyfriend was dumped on the one-month anniversary of Michael Jackson's death
Who is Mike Tan?
Despite Josh & Brianne's infatuations with German and French culture respectively, our family heritage is most traced back to this region
What is the U.K.? / What is Ireland/England?
Before moving to Dexter, MI, Brianne's childhood best friend, Caitlyn Smith, was diagnosed with this disease
What is Type I Diabetes?
This is the secret ingredient that breads "Daddy's Special Chicken"
What are crushed Cheerios?
The formal term for Dad's made-up words, a made-up word itself
What are Larry-isms?
During high school, Brianne used to snitch on Josh for doing what in the sunroom after school
What is 'using the hot tub with a girl'?
Booboo this middle name Johnson
Resembling a common chore, this dance move was all the craze among Josh's friends in high school
What is "mopping the floor"?
This question is Dad's response every time you say you don't like something
What is "since when"?