Helpful Internet Aronyms
HMU:
Yo, yo, yo, I am duly intrigued by your request to meet in the future, please contact again when ready
hit me up
draft beer from this 260+, year-old Dublin brewery; there's a technique, here, it's not just flip & drip
Guinness
Though we mourn this garment's passing from the realm of viral popularity, it is survived by its component parts, blankets & sleeves
Snuggie
It's the only form of liquid precipitation other than rain; for shizzle
drizzle
A woman called 9-1-1 to report an intruder at her tuffet; an 8-legged suspect was apprehended & later released
Little Miss Muffet
ICYMI:
You clearly have been living under some sort of rock, so let me catch you up on this tantalizing factoid
in case you missed it
in New York City, where of course we serve this classic geographically named cocktail made with vermouth & American whiskey
A manhattan
An ineffective & oddly suggestive workout will be held for this fitness gimmick; oscillating dumbbells will be provided
Shake Weight
Reduce your speed when it's raining to avoid this dangerous driving condition, which occurs when tires lose contact with the road
hydroplaning
Medics were dispatched to a local hillside where a man sustained head injuries fetching water with a female companion
Jack & Jill
FTFY:
My good friend, you have erred in what you wrote, but I am gracious & have deigned to correct your mistake
Fixed that for you
Whether you use the Angostura or Peychaud's brand, life has its share of these aromatic spirits used to flavor classic cocktails like the Old Fashioned
Bitters
Funeral services for this line dance will be held on the nearest cruise ship, featuring a special performance by Los del Rio
The macarena
As YouTube's "Hungrybear9562" can attest, sunlight refracting twice inside raindrops before dispersing may result in this
Double Rainbow
Veterinary personnel were dispatched when a local woman reported her flock had returned without tails after an unexplained absence
Little Bo Peep
IANAL: My skills do not reside in the courtroom, yet I feel the need to tell you of the possibly criminal error of your ways
I am not a lawyer
classic combo juniper-berry liquor & carbonated water infused with quinine
Gin & Tonic
In lieu of flowers, mourners of this trend are asked to lie face down, rigid with their arms at their sides and be photographed
Planking
Scientists use the term "petrichor" to refer to this pleasing property of rain; you can thank the bacteria in wet soil
smell
Police received multiple reports at 10 P.M. of a man running through town & tapping on windows in his nightgown
Wee Willie Winkie
CMV:
I believe one thing but am open to your perspective, so now is your chance to explain to me my error
Change my view
Gin, Sweet Red Vermouth, Campari, Orange Peel
Negroni
Born of ordinary Hawaiian milk caps, they are survived by millions of cardboard "slammers" lying unused in millennial closets
Pogs
Sometimes called "phantom rain", virga are wisps of precipitation that never make it to the ground; they do this instead
Evaporate
Officers responded to anonymous reports that a local man was sequestering his wife inside a large gourd
peter, peter, pumpkin eater