Pinball Machines
Things that begin with E
Did you open a ticket
When pigs fly
Cats
100
It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class!
Why is it that doctors and lawyers call what they do 'practice'?
100
You never have more hair in your nose than on your head!
Why is it great to be a woman? (no offense)
100
They know your husband is on his way to buy another!
Why do they call it a T.V. SET when you only get one?
100
The dog thinks you have bad breath!
Why is it that when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out of the window?
100
After the burger & fries, they go straight back on their diet!
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
200
If Insurance companies covered my useless junk it would be outside too!
Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway and useless junk in the garage?
200
Ask Tiger Woods not me!
Why are there so many players if love is not a game?
200
Shepherds
If we count sheep to fall asleep, what do Sheep count?
200
Bubble Wrap.
What goes Pop, Pop, Pop?
200
To hear the cars behind you brake!
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the volume of the radio down?
300
Cause you can't get an open vault door into your handbag!
Why do banks leave vault doors open and chain the pens to the counter?
300
Because AB is used to describe 5 other things and ABBREV sounds like an accelerated muscle?
Why is 'abbreviated" such a long word?
300
The words that come out of mouths are, along with the acompaning faces!
Why do they call it the "Funny Bone", it sure isn't funny when you get hit on it?
300
Half a worm.
What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm inside of it.
300
It must have been before they invented vending machines!
Why do they say CHANGE is INEVITABLE?
400
Not if you are the giver, so the giver got if for free!
Why do they call it a "free" gift, I thought all gifts are free?
400
A sign that 2 people can't agree what to fight about!
What is a divorce?
400
A Stick.
What is a boomerang that won't come back?
400
Forgiveness is easier to get than permission!
Why do children do things that they know will get them into trouble?
400
They should be more concerned about the sudden stop of it!
Why are people so concerned about the pace of life?
500
Nobody gets out alive anyway. [No Offense]
Why shouldn't we take life seriously?
500
You are dead scared!
What happens if you get scared "half-to-death" twice in a row?
500
The tomorrow you worried about yesterday!
What is TODAY?
500
Friday.
What's the sixth day of the week?
500
One in 4 people are. Check 3 friends; if they are ok, you're it!
How do you know if you are mentally ill?
M
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