Zach Attack
“I CHOOSE YOU! BLAZIKEN, ATTACK!” MIGHT BE SOMETHING YOU WOULD HEAR COMING FROM ZACH AS HE PLAYED THIS, HIS FAVORITE RPG GAME SERIES/FRANCHISE ON HIS DS GROWING UP
WHAT IS POKEMON?
A TRANSFORMER IS A DEVICE THAT TRANSFERS THIS TYPE OF ENERGY FROM ONE CIRCUIT TO ANOTHER
WHAT IS ELECTRIC/ELECTRICAL ENERGY?
ACCORDING TO A FABRICATED 23 & ME TEST, ZACH INHERITED HIS WRITING SKILLS FROM THIS FAMED “BARD” KNOWN FOR HIS 16TH-CENTURY POEMS AND PLAYS, SUCH AS OTHELLO
WHO IS WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE?
THIS AVENGER, THE "FIRST AVENGER", WAS PLAYED BY CHRIS EVANS (THE HOTTEST CHRIS, ACCORDING TO THE MARVEL GRAMMAR GUIDE) IN THE MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE
WHO IS CAPTAIN AMERICA?
THIS MASTER OF DISGUISE, WHICH IS ALMOST DEFINITELY NOT ZACH’S FAVORITE ANIMAL, USES ITS STRIPES TO LOOK REALLY FASHIONABLE IN THE AFRICAN SAHARAS
WHAT IS A ZEBRA?
IN 8TH GRADE, ZACH MERELY STOOD BY AND WATCHED WHILE HIS BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WAS ATTACKED BY THIS VICIOUS CREATURE IN HIS BACKYARD
WHAT IS A SQUIRREL?
THIS FORMER EVEN STEVENS ACTOR PLAYED SAM WITWICKY IN TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
WHO IS SHIA LABEOUF?
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF (DUE TO IT BEING FALSE), ZACH’S FIRST COUSIN IS NOT BENNY LESNICK, RATHER THIS OTHER BENNY, OFTEN KNOWN AS THE WARIO TO BENNY LESNICK’S WALUIGI
WHO IS BENNY WEISBROT?
ACCORDING TO THE MARVEL GRAMMAR GUIDE, IF GROOT WORE PANTS, HE WOULD WEAR THEM LIKE THIS (OR LIKE THIS)
WHAT IS ON HIS LEGS/ON HIS POT?
A FORMER MEMBER OF ZACH’S FAVORITE BOY BAND, ONE DIRECTION, THIS MUSICAL ARTIST RECENTLY CAME UNDER FIRE FOR ALLEGEDLY ASSAULTING HIS GIRLFRIEND/BABY MAMA’S WIFE
WHO IS ZAYN?
BLOOD! BLOOD EVERYWHERE! IF YOU STOOD STILL LONG ENOUGH NEAR ZACH IN ~2017-2018 (DATE CHECK), YOU PROBABLY HEARD ABOUT THE TIME HE WAS VICIOUSLY ATTACKED BY THIS REMOTE-OPERATED DEVICE AND ENDED UP WITH (ALLEGEDLY) 3,000 OR SO STITCHES
WHAT IS A DRONE/CAMERA DRONE?
THIS TRANSFORMER, USUALLY PORTRAYED AS A VILLAIN, WAS THE ORIGINAL LEADER OF THE DECEPTICONS IN THE ORIGINAL “THE TRANSFORMERS” ANIMATED SERIES
WHO IS MEGATRON?
ON THIS DATE IN 2019, COINCIDENTALLY ZACH AND CHANA’S NEGATIVE FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, ZACH’S SECOND COUSIN, 26-YEAR-OLD DENZEL JOHNSON, WAS ARRESTED IN FLORIDA FOR BEATING HIS UBER DRIVER WITH A WATER BOTTLE, A CAR ANTENNA, AND A CANE BELONGING TO AN ELDERLY BYSTANDER
WHAT IS JUNE 14TH?
THE SIX INFINITY STONES ARE THE SPACE STONE, MIND STONE, REALITY STONE, POWER STONE, TIME STONE, AND THIS ORANGE STONE THAT CAN ONLY BE ACQUIRED AT A HEFTY PRICE
WHAT IS THE SOUL STONE?
AN ALTERNATIVE WORD FOR ZACH’S FAVORITE FOOD, THIS TWO-LETTER SCRABBLE WORD UPSETS MOST NON-SCRABBLE PLAYERS WHEN USED IN BANANAGRAMS
WHAT IS ZA?
IF ZACH WANTED TO ATTACK ANYONE IN THIS ROOM, HE COULD ALMOST DEFINITELY BEAT THEM UP. HOW DO WE KNOW, YOU MIGHT ASK? REFER TO THIS, HIS SPORTS-RELATED CATCH-PHRASE
WHAT IS "I WAS ON THE HOCKEY TEAM!"?
THIS TRANSFORMER, AN AUTOBOT THAT TRANSFORMS INTO A YELLOW VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE, GOT ITS OWN LIVE-ACTION MOVIE IN 2018 FEATURING HAILEE STEINFELD, JOHN CENA, AND DYLAN O’BRIEN
WHO IS BUMBLEBEE?
WHILE ZACH’S BIRTH PARENTS ARE GREAT AND ALL, IT WAS REALLY THIS MAN, CREATOR OF THE MUPPETS AND FRAGGLE ROCK, THAT TRULY RAISED ZACH
WHO IS JIM HENSON?
ACCORDING TO THE MARVEL GRAMMAR GUIDE, THIS IS THE APPROPRIATE WAY TO SHORTEN THE WORD “DOUCHEBAG” (PLEASE PROVIDE THE EXACT SPELLING)
WHAT IS D-BAG?
THE PRIMARY INGREDIENT IN THESE DEEP-FRIED, POWDERED SUGAR-COVERED ITALIAN DESSERTS IS SUGAR, ZACH’S FAVORITE INGREDIENT
WHAT ARE ZEPPOLE(S)?
“ZACH, YOU IDIOT!” SHOUTED THIS FORMER MOSHAVA HEAD WAITER, AS ZACH RUTHLESSLY SMASHED A PICTURE FRAME THAT HIS FORMER BOSS HAD GIVEN TO HIS WIFE AS AN ANNIVERSARY GIFT
WHO IS ZVI RAPPS?
THIS DECEPTICON-HATING, GUNG-HO LITTLE AUTOBOT HERO WHO USES HIS GLASS GAS AS A SPECIAL WEAPON, WAS THE FIRST AUTOBOT TO DIE IN TRANSFORMERS PRIME. HE ALSO SHARES HIS NAME WITH PARTICIPANTS IN A DANGEROUS EXTREME SPORT
WHO IS CLIFFJUMPER?
THIS 12TH U.S PRESIDENT, A MEXICAN-AMERICAN WAR HERO KNOWN AS TIPPECANOE AND ZACH’S GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT UNCLE, SHARES MORE IN COMMON WITH ZACH THAN JUST FAKE FAMILY HISTORY
WHO IS ZACHARY TAYLOR?
S.H.I.E.L.D., AN ACRONYM FOR THIS, MUST CONTAIN EXACTLY FIVE PERIODS IN ITS SPELLING, ACCORDING TO THE MARVEL GRAMMAR GUIDE (PROBABLY)
WHAT IS STRATEGIC HOMELAND INTERVENTION, ENFORCEMENT AND LOGISTICS DIVISION?
THIS HUFFLEPUFF JOINED DUMBLEDORE’S ARMY IN THE 5TH HARRY POTTER BOOK, BUT WAS PRIMARILY KNOWN FOR BEING AN ABSOLUTE DIPSHIT
WHO IS ZACHARIAS SMITH?