Coping Skills
You're at home and Mom yells at you for something that was your sister's fault. You feel really upset, and you want to find something to do to take your mind off of it.
Watching TV, reading, drawing, take a nap or go to bed, play guitar, make bracelets.
What does DEAR MAN stand for?
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce
stay Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate
Jane has a friend that takes her anger out on her. What type of communication is this?
Aggressive
You are put in a group with kids you don't know for a project.
Get to know them (active listening), make eye contact, use teamwork skills
Name two replacement behaviors.
Your mom tells you that it is time for bed. It is Saturday. You want to keep reading.
Describe: I want to stay up longer to finish reading. Mom wants me to go to bed.
Express: I feel unsatisfied with my reading time.
Assert: I would like to stay up to read one more chapter.
Reinforce: Thank you, I would really appreciate it.
Mindful: I'd like to focus on tonight please.
Appear confident: Make eye contact, sit up straight
Negotiate: Can I stay up for 30 minutes and then go to bed?
Brooklynn always goes along with what her friends want to do and never asserts herself.
Passive
There is a girl in your class that you think is really cool and you would like to be her friend.
Compliment her cool shirt, ask her questions about herself or interests, have a conversation and ask if she wants to be friends
What can you do in a social situation to calm yourself down?
Breathing techniques, 54321 skill, use fidget, find someone you know to talk to, listen to music
You want to go to a late night movie with a friend from school that your parents don't know. Your parents are unsure.
Describe: I want to go to a 10pm movie with my friend from school tomorrow night.
Express: I feel like I can be trusted. I would feel disappointed if you said no.
Assert: Can I please go to the movie with my friend?
Reinforce: I would feel really grateful if you would let me go.
Mindful: I know that they don't know this friend or their parents.
Appear confident: keep eye contact, stand up straight
Negotiate: Beforehand, you and her parents can sit down and talk.
Jaiden respects her friends' and her own beliefs.
Assertive
How can you show that you are actively listening?
Engage, keep eye contact, ask questions, answer questions, lean forward, face the person you are speaking to, nodding/shaking your head
Someone at school calls you a mean name. What's something that you can do to make yourself feel better?
Talk to a friend or trusted adult, journal, read, watch TV, watch cute animal videos
You and your friend are in an argument over an assignment. She thinks it is one answer but you think it is another.
Describe: I think it is one answer and you think it is another.
Express: I feel like I am not being listened to. That makes me feel ignored.
Assert: I think we should go with my answer.
Reinforce: If it ends up being my answer, we will both get a better grade.
Mindful: I could possibly have the answer wrong as well.
Appear confident: Keep eye contact, speak clearly
Negotiate: Let's both look back on the passage and see if the answer is in it. If it ends up being my answer, we will go with mine; if it is yours, we will go with yours.
You and your friend are in an argument and you blow them off with a "you know what, whatever" and walk away.
Passive-aggressive
You and your sibling are arguing over your favorite spot on the couch. How can you compromise?
If I had it the night before, let them have it. Ask for it if they have had it two nights in a row. "You can have it tonight, but I want it tomorrow." Give it to them for one episode, and ask for it for one episode.
You are in a testing environment where you can't have anything around you, what other coping skills could you use?
Breathing techniques, positive self talk, fidget with bracelets/necklaces, use my 504 plan
You and your sibling are disagreeing over what movie to watch for family movie night.
Describe: Tell them what movie you want to watch.
Express: I feel like this movie would be more entertaining for us.
Assert: Can we please watch Divergent tonight?
Reinforce: I'd be really happy if you let us watch Divergent.
Mindfulness: I know that they really want to watch their movie right now.
Appear confident: Keep even tone
Negotiate: I'll make us popcorn if we watch Divergent.
Jonathan keeps an even tone, respects himself and others, and uses I statements.
Assertive
You have to do a presentation in front of the class. What can you do beforehand to prepare?
Positive self talk, breathe, practice your presentation/what you are going to say