What do mermaids have on toast?
a. Mayonnaise
b. Butter
c. Seafood
d. Mermerlade
What is mermerlade
How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!
How do you count cows?
With a cow-culator.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad
A chicken caeser salad.
What did one hat say to the other?
You wait here. I'll go on a head.
What do pigs use on sore toes?
a. Band aids
b. medicine
c. Oinkment
d. Pills and gills
What is oinkment
Why can't scientists trust atoms ?
They make up everything!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
Where's popcorn?
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
How do you throw a space party?
You planet.
Why did the frog take the bus today?
His car got toad away.
What bird can lift the most?
a. A crane
b. A penguin
c. A peacock
d. A crow
What is a crane
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What do you call a train carrying bubblegum?
What kinds of jokes do vegetables like best ?
a. veggie jokes
b. clean jokes
c. fruity jokes
d. corny jokes
What is corny jokes
What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
a. Happy Birthday
b. I'm eighty
c. Aye Matey
d. Give me some cake
" Aye Matey "
Why doesn't the sun go to college?
Because it has 15 million degrees!
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
They don't meet the koalafications.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine!