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What do you call a fake noodle?
A fake impasta! 🤡
Why did the cell phone get glasses?
Because she lost all her contacts. 👀
What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat. 🦇
What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Snow. 🌨
What time of year do people get injured the most?
In the fall. 🍂
What’s a ball that you don’t throw, shoot, eat, spit, bounce, or catch?
An eyeball. 👁
Why are eyeshadow, lipstick, and mascara never mad at each other?
Because they always make-up. 💄
Why did the kid cross the playground?
To get to the other slide. 🛝
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Hissssstory! 📙
What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have?
Shells. 🐚
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling. 😔
Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it. 🥒
Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pencil-vania. ✏
How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring. 📳
Why is Peter Pan flying all the time?
He Neverlands! 🧚
What did the buffalo say when his son left?
Bison! 👋
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree! 🤚
Why can’t your head be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot! 🦶
What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?
Pi. 🥧
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells. 👃
Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?
The "C"! 🌊
How does a scientist freshen their breath?
With experi-mints! 🥶
Why did the dog do so well in school?
Because he was the teacher’s pet! 🐕
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?”
Because every play has a cast. 🦿
Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
His car got toad away. 🐸