English
What do mermaids have on toast?
mermerlade
When do astronauts eat?
at launch time
Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?
He was standing on the deck
Where does a hog look when he can’t spell a word?
pigtionary
What word to people spell wrong?
WRONG
What do cave people eat for lunch?
A club sandwich?
Why did the farmer name his pig "ink"
because he kept running out of the pen
What is a sound sleeper ?
Somebody who snores
Where was the first french fry made?
In Grease!
What do you call a flying bagel?
A plane bagel
How many peas are there in a pint?
one
Why did the elephant have a lousy vacation?
because the airline lost his trunk.
What did one earthquake say to another earthquake?
It's not my fault.
What is the best way to catch a mouse?
have someone throw it at you.
How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the “w”
What do witches use on their hair?
scarespray
What bird can lift the most?
a crane
Why are barbers good drivers?
Because they know all the short cuts.
How did the little skunk call his mother?
on a smellphone
What is a monster's favorite cafeteria food?
grave-y
What kinds of jokes do vegetables like best ?
corny jokes
Why were the basketball players holding their noses?
because they were taking a foul shot
What fast food do sea monsters eat?
Fish and chips
Why did the boy throw a glass of water out the window?
To see a waterfall
Why did the witch give up fortune telling?
There was no future in it