Why don’t you joke with eggs?
Because they crack up!
Can you buy a ticket to the moon?
No, sorry the moon is full right now.
What has wheels and flies but is not an airplane?
A garbage truck.
What can travel around the world while staying in a corner?
A stamp
Using only addition how can you add 8s to get to 1000?
888+88+8+8+8=1000
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the other side!
How do you find a cheetah at night?
Use a spots-light!
You’re running a race and at the very end, you pass the person in second place. What place did you end in?
Second place.
Mrs brown has 5 daughters.each one has a brother.How many kids does Mrs brown have?
6 kids
You’ll find me in mercury, earth, mars, and Jupiter but not in Venus and Neptune. What am I.
The letter R
What word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?
Short!
How can you tell which end of a worm is the head?
Tickle it in the middle and see which way it laughs!
What has 13 hearts but no other organs?
A deck of cards
There are 3 apples in a basket.you take away 2.how many apples do you have now?
2!
I can fill up a room but I take up no space. What am I?
Light
There is only one word that is spelled wrong in the dictionary.
Wrong!
How did a horse get a soda?
He gave it a buck.
What two things you can never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
81x9=801 What do you need to do to make the equation correct?
Turn it upside down
It’s the only place where today comes before yesterday.
The dictionary!
What has a mouth but can’t talk?
A river!
How do bulls pay for their groceries?
They charge them.
What is the capital of France?
The letter F it is the only capitalized letter!
I am an odd number. Take a letter away I become even. What number am I?
Seven
A railroad crossing without cars. Can you spell that with no Rs?
Yes, T-h-a-t