If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I?
A fire!
A dad and his son were riding their bikes and crashed. Two ambulances came and took them to different hospitals. The man’s son was in the operating room and the doctor said, “I can’t operate on you. You’re my son.”
How is that possible?
The doctor is his mom!
What is the longest word in the dictionary?
Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’!
In a one story house ,everything was purple! The chair, table, people, everything!!!What color were the stairs?
There were no stairs because it was a 1 story!!!!
What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short
What has 4 eyes but can’t see?
Mississippi
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W!
What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?
His breath!
What starts with the letter “t”, is filled with “t” and ends in “t”?
A teapot!
What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?
Silence.
A man was driving his truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. Up ahead, a woman was crossing the street. How did he see her?
It was a bright and sunny day!
You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?
You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.
How many months have 28 days?
All 12 months!
We see it once in a year, twice in a week, and never in a day. What is it?
The letter “E”
How do you make the number one disappear?
Add the letter G and it’s “GONE”
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age!
They come out at night without being called, and are lost in the day without being stolen. What are they?
Stars!
Mr. Blue lives in the blue house, Mr. Pink lives in the pink house, and Mr. Brown lives in the brown house. Who lives in the white house?
The president!
If a blue house is made out of blue bricks, a yellow house is made out of yellow bricks and a pink house is made out of pink bricks, what is a green house made of?
Glass
A horse is on a 24 foot chain and wants an apple that is 26 feet away. How can the horse get to the apple?
The chain is not attached to anything.
Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?
Neither, they both weigh one pound!
What word in the English language does the following: the first two letters signify a male, the first three letters signify a female, the first four letters signify a great, while the entire world signifies a great woman. What is the word?
Heroine
A man leaves home and turns left three times, only to return home facing two men wearing masks. Who are those two men?
A Catcher and Umpire.
What has one eye but cannot see?
A needle
I come from a mine and get surrounded by wood always. Everyone uses me. What am I?
pencil lead