Codependency
Which scenario shows a codependent behavior in recovery?
A. Jamie skips class for the third day in a row to monitor their partner’s substance use because they feel responsible for preventing a relapse.
B. Chris reminds their friend about meetings but focuses on their own recovery goals.
C. Taylor expresses concern about their loved one’s use but does not sacrifice their own well-being.
D. Alex seeks advice from a sponsor while encouraging their partner to do the same.
A. Jamie skips class for the third day in a row to monitor their partner’s substance use because they feel responsible for preventing a relapse.
People with hyper independence struggle with ______ on others.
Relying
What is gaslighting?
The person denies or twists reality, making you question your memory, feelings, or judgment. You may feel confused or even "crazy."
What is emotional safety?
Emotional safety is the feeling that you can be your authentic self without fear of being judged, manipulated, punished, or emotionally harmed. It allows for openness, vulnerability, and trust — all essential in healthy relationships and recovery.
Taylor has recently completed 60 days in recovery and is focusing on staying sober. Their coworker invites them to a party where there will be heavy drinking. Taylor responds, “Thanks for inviting me, but I’m focusing on my sobriety right now, so I won’t be attending. I’d love to hang out another time doing something else.”
What type of communication style is Taylor using?
A. Passive Communication
B. Passive-Aggressive Communication
C. Aggressive Communication
D. Assertive Communication
D. Assertive Communication
Which of the following is an example of codependency?
A. Alex supports their friend by listening but also takes time to attend their own recovery meetings.
B. Taylor cancels their therapy sessions and neglects self-care to constantly check on their partner’s sobriety.
C. Jordan expresses their needs calmly while helping their roommate stay accountable.
D. Sam encourages their sibling to seek professional help while maintaining healthy boundaries.
B. Taylor cancels their therapy sessions and neglects self-care to constantly check on their partner’s sobriety.
Explain what "eldest daughter syndrome" is
Having to be the most responsible child and finding yourself taking on the role of a parent to your siblings.
What is love bombing?
The relationship begins with intense affection, attention, or promises. You feel seen, valued, and hopeful
Name 3 green flags for that help create a safe relationship:
Respect for boundaries.
Consistent and predictable behavior
Validation and empathy
Open, honest communication
Accountability
Support for your growth
Non-judgmental presence
Trust is earned over time
Taylor has recently completed 60 days in recovery and is focusing on staying sober. Their coworker invites them to a party where there will be heavy drinking. Taylor responds, “Wow, thanks for inviting me to a place where everyone will be drinking. I guess I’ll just stay home like always while you all have fun.”
What type of communication style is Taylor using?
A. Passive Communication
B. Passive-Aggressive Communication
C. Aggressive Communication
D. Assertive Communication
B. Passive-Aggressive Communication
Which of the following is an example of codependency?
A. Maria is convinced that everyone around her won't know how to help her with her relationship problems so she keeps them to herself.
B. Brian leaves his boyfriend after his boyfriend tries to convince him to do drugs and have a threesome.
C. A recently sober girlfriend reaches out to her ex who is in his addiction and tries to convince him to go to rehab even though he has consistently told her he does not want to get sober.
D. Tammy gives her boyfriend alone time after he tells her he's been feeling depressed and just needs some space.
C. A recently sober girlfriend reaches out to her ex who is in his addiction and tries to convince him to go to rehab even though he has consistently told her he does not want to get sober.
Hyper independence can stem from neglect or _____.
Trauma
What is a trauma bond? Give an example.
A trauma bond is an intense emotional attachment that forms in a relationship where harm, manipulation, or abuse is mixed with moments of affection or connection.
Name 3 red flags that create an unsafe relationship:
Gaslighting
Guilt-tripping or emotional blackmail
Inconsistency or hot/cold behavior
Controlling or possessive behavior
Dismissiveness or minimization
Blame-shifting
Silent treatment or emotional withdrawal
Withdrawing affection as punishment.
Name three types of communication styles
Any 3 of the following:
Passive, Aggressive, Passive Aggressive, Assertive
Why do codependents like to absorb themselves into other people's problems?
Different answers are accepted! To avoid their own problem, to improve their own self-esteem (look perfect), unhealthy understanding of what love is
Name 3 ways to help someone become less hyper independent
Recognize your patterns, challenge old beliefs, try asking for help more often (with small things), seeking professional help, finding at least one person you can rely on (that is not yourself).
How can a trauma bond affect recovery?
Any of the following:
For people in substance use recovery, trauma bonds can:
· Trigger relapse due to emotional instability or distress
· Reinforce low self-esteem or shame
· Keep you tied to people who enable or encourage substance use
· Make it harder to form healthy, stable relationships
Sammy confronts her boyfriend about him constantly going out to clubs with his single guy friends and is upset at how often he comes home wasted. Her boyfriend scoffs and says, "you're being so sensitive." This is an example of:
A. Being dismissive or minimizing
B. Giving the silent treatment
C. Controlling behavior
D. Inconsistency
A) Being dismissive or minimizing
Name the three types of boundaries:
Porous, Rigid, Healthy
Also acceptable:
Loose boundaries, strict or tight boundaries.
Which of the following statements best describes codependency?
A. Taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions.
B. Relying on another person’s approval or problems to define your self-worth.
C. Setting healthy boundaries in relationships.
D. Seeking support while maintaining independence.
B. Relying on another person’s approval or problems to define your self-worth.
What is it called when someone sticks their spines out, or need people to get away when they make us feel vulnerable or see us?
"Pufferfishing"
Name 3 ways you can heal from a trauma bond
Any 3 from the following:
Recognize the pattern without judging yourself
· Create boundaries, even if it feels uncomfortable
· Talk to safe people (therapist, sponsor, support group)
· Build emotional safety within yourself
· Practice self-forgiveness and self-care
· Remember: You don’t need chaos to feel love
Jeremiah and Huda have been on two dates. On their third date, without being asked, Huda brings up a bunch of traumatic stories about old exes and then asks Jeremiah if he has any toxic ex stories. This is an example of:
A. Being controlling
B. Blame-shifting
C. Manipulation
D. Pressuring to share or "be real" too soon.
D. Pressuring to share or "be real" too soon.
Raven realizes she has a drinking problem when she gets fired from her job for never showing up on time. She tells her friend she wants to quit drinking to which her friends laugh and say, "Like that's gonna happen. We're young! We should be having fun. Let's go to the club tonight." Raven doesn't really want to go but doesn't want to ruin the mood by saying no. What should Raven do if she wants to set a healthy boundary with her friends?
A. Raven should go to the club but try not to drink.
B. Raven should go out, drink “just a little,” and promise herself she’ll quit tomorrow.
C. Raven should avoid answering and just ignore her friends until they stop asking.
D. Raven should clearly tell her friends she’s working on her sobriety and suggest an alternative activity.
D. Raven should clearly tell her friends she’s working on her sobriety and suggest an alternative activity.