Awkward
Make a great first impression! This might feel awkward, but knowing how to introduce yourself is an important but simple skill.
What are 2 things you can do to make a great first impression when you meet an adult?
1. Shake their hand firmly, unless it's a peer
2. Look them in the eye
3. Say, "hi, my name is Jane. Nice to meet you."
There are few things harder than being new or in a place where you don't know anyone. The ability to introduce yourself to strangers with confidence is something that will affect your life for years to come.
Most people feel like outsiders, so let's ROLE PLAY! HIT YOUR BUZZER if you're willing to show us how to introduce yourself to others so you can be the gift that brings people together.
If you don't know where to start, here's a suggestion:
"I don't think I've met you yet. I'm Lisa. What's your name?"
True or False:
Saying "no offense" or "not to be rude" means that what comes next will not be hurtful to the person you are saying it to.
FALSE
If you feel a need to say these phrases, think twice about saying anything at all. Just because you don't want someone to be offended by what we say doesn't mean they won't be.
Doing this ??? is not okay, and is often done when people are trying to say something private while in a group of people.
WHISPERING
Whispering in front of others is not okay. When two people whisper in a group, it changes the dynamics. Others begin to feel conscious and left out, and feelings get hurt.
If you can't say it in front of a group, wait for a better time.
True or False: If someone is talking about something really boring, it's totally okay to interrupt them and change the subject.
FALSE
Don't interrupt. Don't judge or jump to conclusions. Don't start planning what to say next.
Instead, paraphrase what someone has said so you are sure you understand.
What should you do if you only know or like one person in a group of people and you really want to talk to just them?
Say hi quickly, and ask them to come find you when they are finished with their current conversation.
During a conversation with others, it's important to communicate effectively. It's also important that the other person understands what you are saying. Name 2 ways you can make sure you are communicating effectively?
Look people in the eye
Don't mumble
Enunciate your words
Speak loudly and clearly enough for people to understand
If you have something to say, say it with confidence!
If you are in a room with people, they take priority over whatever is happening on your phone. Explain how you can be present and more fully enjoy the people around you?
Put your phone on silent
If you are waiting for an important text, let people know.
While watching movies, don't scroll on your phone
Talking about money isn't always bad, but being intrusive or bragging about it isn't okay.
Name 2 ways that would be inappropriate to talk about money.
Don't ask someone how much their parents make
Don't ask how much their house/car cost
Don't announce how much your shoes are
Focus on things that are more important!
*If you have a serious question about money, ask your parents or teacher.
There are few good listeners in our world today, so having this skill can really set you apart. Good listeners are better learners and better friends.
Name some ways you can be a good listener.
Face the speaker
Put down your phone
Make eye contact
Stay focused
Nod
When walking up to a group of people, who should you acknowledge?
Everyone in the group. Not just one or two people.
(If you don't know everyone, introduce yourself.)
In a conversation, it's important to be confident, but not controlling. What are some ways you can be a part of a conversation without dominating the whole thing?
1. If you wonder if you're talking too much, take a break and see if someone asks you a question. Or be one who asks others their opinion.
2. Even if you know you are "right", it can be annoying to others when someone tries to convince the whole group that they are right. State your opinion with confidence without being argumentative.
It takes 40-60 hours to form a casual friendship.
It takes 80-100 hours to transition to a friend.
It takes this many hours to become "good friends"?
More than 200 hours!
Don't be impatient when it comes to quality connection. Put in the time!
(Based on a study from the University of Kansas)
True or False: Rating peoples bodies or looks isn't a big deal and should just be laughed off.
FALSE
Rating games can seem silly and harmless, but they aren't. They have been the cause of a lot of dark thoughts and damaged feelings. Refusing to play these games is a good step in being a friend and creating real life connections. Whether on an app or in person, don't participate.
Hit your buzzer if you are willing to role play how to be the world's BEST listener.
Scenerios:
Worried about a test
Taking a vacation
Family member sick
When someone gives you a ride, it can be awkward. What are some ways you can be a good passenger and make a genuine connection?
1. Acknowledge them- they are doing you a favor, so say "hello"
2. Engage in a short conversation. Don't jump on your phone. It's a good way to manage feeling uncomfortable, but it's not polite.
3. Be kind to everyone in the car
4. Always say "thank you" when you leave
How well do you know yourself? When someone asks you what you like to do or what you are into, have an answer ready. At certain times of life the answer will be quick and easy, and at other times it might take more thought.
Hit your buzzer and tell us about yourself.
Tips:
There is no right answer.
You don't have to be on a team or in a club.
What you love doesn't have to be loved by everyone else.
You don't need other's approval for what you find motivating or exciting and it can change as many times as you want!
Role play! Choose any topic and demonstrate body language that is open and inclusive.
Make sure your tone isn't harsh.
Don't look constantly mad when you aren't, or seem stuck up or unapproachable when you are really open and inclusive.
Make sure who you are on the outside matches who you are on the inside.
True or False: There is always room for one more.
True
Inviting all except one is cruel. Be someone who includes and makes room. You can't always invite everyone to everything, but there is always room for one more. If you have a group of 10 friends, having 5 over is fine, but never invite 9 and leave out 1.
Don't create new group messages that exclude one friend. You don't want to be remembered as the person who made people feel small or unwanted.
True or False: You are being the "good guy" by letting someone know they are being talked about.
False.
Usually this will end up causing drama. Everyone is human and people get bugged with each other. It only blows up when information is shared or spread, so don't be part of it.
Don't share screenshots of an unkind text or retell something you heard. That is not being a good friend. Sharing hurtful things causes pain to everyone involved and puts you in the middle of drama.
*If it is hurtful, don't share or repeat it.
When someone comes to your home, it can be awkward to know what to say, even if it's someone you know.
If it's someone you know, what are 3 ways to answer the door politely so you can form a brief, genuine connection?
1. Greet the person standing there
2. Invite them in, if you know them well
3. Find the person they need to see
4. Make polite conversation until the person arrives
Cell phones have made it really easy to never have to interact with the parents in a home, but just because it's easier, doesn't mean that it's right.
Role play! Hit your buzzer if you are willing to show us how to acknowledge adults in a home when you arrive and when you leave.
1. Say "Hello" and "Goodbye" and "thank you"
2. Bonus points for having a conversation!
3. "Hi, Mrs. Call. Thanks for letting me come over!"
If your friends are often excluding you or making you feel bad, they are the wrong friends.
What can you do if you need to start making connections with other people and finding new friends? It's not easy, but the effort is worth it.
1. Look for those who might be a little lonely, new, or on the outside. They might be different from you or not have as much social clout but that doesn't matter.
2. Spend time with people who treat you well and want you around.
3. Be the friend you want to have.
Saying "no" to an invitation is often uncomfortable, even for adults, but being upfront and honest is so much kinder than just ignoring or avoiding someone.
What are some phrases that can help when you need to kindly decline?
"Thanks for the invite. I'm sad I can't make it."
"Sounds like so much fun. I wish I didn't already have plans."
"Darn! That night doesn't work for me. Can we get together next weekend?"
Mental health is serious and it's important to check on your friends. There is a fine line between tattling and looking out for someone. What are some circumstances it would be appropriate to communicate your concerns to a friend or trusted adult?
If you are concerned, speak up!
1. If a friend is acting strange
2. Sends a troubling text
3. Is hurting themselves or others
4. Withdraw from normal activities/suddenly disappears