Feelings Decoder
Name one body clue that tells you you’re getting annoyed.
My jaw gets tight
My stomach feels weird
My heart beats faster
I clench my fists
I feel hot
One thing you can say instead of “Whatever.”
“I don’t agree.”
“I need a minute.”
“Can you explain?”
“I hear you.”
“I don’t like that.”
One choice you want adults to give you in high stress moments
When to take a break
How to do homework
Where to sit
When to talk
Which calm tool to use
One thing that helps your body calm
Deep breathing
Walking
Music
Stretching
Fidget
Why might an adult say “no”?
Safety
Rules
Timing
Responsibility
They’re stressed
What feeling usually shows up before anger?
Frustration
Embarrassment
Feeling disrespected
Feeling rushed
Feeling ignored
A respectful way to disagree
“I see it differently.”
“That doesn’t make sense to me.”
“I don’t agree, but okay.”
“Can I explain my side?”
What happens when people feel challenged?
They get defensive
They stop listening
They get louder
They try to take control
They punish instead of explain
When should you take a break?
When I feel overwhelmed
When I’m about to yell
When my body feels tense
Before I get in trouble
When I stop listening
What could someone else be feeling in a difficult conversation with you?
Tired
Frustrated
Worried
Confused
Overwhelmed
How does your body feel when you’re misunderstood?
Heavy
Tight chest
Want to shut down
Want to yell
Feel tense or frozen
What tone makes adults and others stop listening?
Yelling
Sarcastic
Eye-rolling tone
Attitude
One-word answers
How can you keep your power without getting in trouble?
Use calm words
Ask for space
Say “I’ll do it later”
Compromise
Follow rules but speak up respectfully
What makes calming down harder?
Being told to “calm down”
Feeling rushed
Being embarrassed
Loud voices
Too many people talking
How might your words sound to others at times when a hard conversation happens?
Rude
Angry
Disrespectful
Defensive
Mean (even if not intended)
What feeling is hardest for you to talk about?
Sad
Hurt
Fear
Shame
Loneliness
How could you re-say something you regret?
“That came out wrong.”
“I was mad — I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Can I try again?”
“I shouldn’t have said it that way.”
Difference between control and confidence
Control = forcing
Confidence = calm
Control = yelling
Confidence = steady voice
Control = power struggle
Confidence = self-control
Which strategy works sometimes but not always?
Counting
Breathing
Music
Talking
Distraction
When have you been misunderstood?
When I was joking
When I was upset
When I didn’t explain well
When I shut down
When I reacted fast
When you shut down, what emotion are you protecting?
Not wanting to feel embarrassed
Not wanting to cry
Not wanting to get in trouble
Not wanting to feel stupid
Not wanting to feel weak
What helps you pause before reacting?
Counting
Breathing
Walking away
Squeezing something
Thinking “Is this worth it?”
How can asking for space be a power move?
It prevents trouble
It shows maturity
It helps me calm down
It keeps me in control
It stops things from getting worse
Design your own calm-down plan
Take space + music
Walk + breathing
Fidget + quiet
Write it down
Ask for help then pause
What do you wish adults understood about you more and why?
I’m not trying to be bad
I get overwhelmed fast
I need time
I want respect
I want to be heard