Victimization vs Trauma
What is the difference between Victimization & Trauma?
Victimization - the act or process of singling someone out for cruel or unfair treatment typically through physical or emotional abuse; act by someone to cause harm to a person/people.
Trauma - an emotional response to very stressful, frightening, or distressing events
What are Defense Mechanisms?
-Functions to protect a person from anxiety-producing thoughts and feelings related to internal conflicts and outer stressors
-No longer helpful in adulthood
What is the difference between Guilt, Shame, and Regret?
Guilt - I DID something bad
Shame - I AM bad
Regret - I will do it differently in the future
Discuss the Cycle of Violence
-Love-Bombing
-Tension Building
-Explosion
What is the difference between Self-Esteem and Self-Concept?
Self-Concept - belief that the entirety of oneself is of value based on accepting all of ones parts, including both strengths and weaknesses
What is the difference between Sexual Assault and Rape?
SA - An act in which one intentionally sexually touches another person without that persons consent or coerces/physically forces another person to engage in sexual acts against their will
Rape - unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under the threat of injury; or with a person who is beneath a certain age or is incapable of valid consent
Why are Defense Mechanisms no longer helpful in adulthood?
-Reinforce negative view of the world
-Keep us from healing
-Hold us back from healthy relationships and a healthy world views
Why is shame dangerous?
It can lead to suicide
Why is it dangerous when there is no love-bombing phase?
Your abuser may be a narcissist, have an inability to feel guilt, or may be a psychopath.
What is the difference between the Inner Critic and Inner Coach?
Inner Critic - is critical and cautious, focuses only on negatives and destructive thoughts, mean, and judgmental
Inner Coach - is supportive and encouraging, focuses on the possibilities, provides energy and relief, and looks towards the future instead of focusing on the past
What is the age of Consent in PA
16
What are Cognitive Distortions?
-Internal mental filters or biases that increase our misery, fuel our anxiety, an make us feel bad about ourselves
-Goes hand in hand with automatic thoughts
What is false guilt?
-Someone placing guilt on you for something you didn't do/say
-Someone forcing you to do something you don't want to do and making you feel guilty if you don't do it
-Gaslighting
What is reactive abuse?
When your abuser has pushed you far enough that you explode back and they use that as fuel to accuse you of being the reason they abuse you or being the reason you're in the situation you're in.
-With trust issues
-Skewed sense of self-worth/self-love/self-concept
-We look for in others, what we didn't get
What is a coping skill?
Activities used daily to help keep control over thoughts and behaviors and help deal with stressful situations
What are Rethinking Tools?
Tools to help rewire/readjust negative thinking into positive affirmations
How does shame show itself in relation to others?
-Lack of Self-Respect
-Lack of Boundaries
What is the Pink Cloud in Domestic Violence and Recovery?
DV - "Everything's all good, the relationship will be ok, the abuser will get help, you'll make it through this, I'll never hurt you again, etc."
Recovery - Feeling like you're on top of the world, you don't need rehab anymore, you don't need counseling anymore, you have it all figured out, etc. But when one bump in the road comes... it all seems to hit the fan.
What does it mean to have a False Sense of Safety?
-Believing you are safer in an unsafe environment/relationship because of the familiarity and predictability of the situation
What is a grounding technique?
Strategies that help reconnect you with the present
Share something about trauma brain.
Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn
Amygdala - Smoke alarm of the brain
How do you heal from Shame?
-Forgiveness
-Spirituality
-Self-Esteem
-Healthy Friendships
-Therapy
-Getting Rid of Misplaced Guilt
Share something about consent
-Pizza video
-Just because I shared yesterday, doesn't mean I have to share today.
-Talk about what kind of pizza each other likes, wants, doesn't like.
-I can say yes before I get the pizza, but if I say no after I get the pizza, I mean no.
What is the Marble Jar Analogy?
-Marble Jars of Trust based on how we are treated by those around us and those we allow in our circles
-Give people marbles the more they build trust with you, take marbles away if people cross your boundaries
-Never give someone a full jar