Small Talk
What is making eye contact and not interrupting?
The easiest way to show you are listening in a conversation.
What is feeling shy, closed off, or uncomfortable?
What someone's folded arms and looking at the floor usually mean.
What is generalized anxiety?
A fast, discreet physical technique to calm down your nervous system in a crowded hallway.
What is asking them not to post embarrassing pictures of you, or not texting after 10 PM.
An example of a digital boundary with a friend.
What is walk up, smile, and ask "Mind if I sit here/join in?"
You want to join a group of kids playing a game or eating lunch. What should you do?
What are "What do you do for fun?" and "What music do you like?"
Two open-ended questions you can ask someone to start a conversation.
What is to show you care, offer support, or know when to give them space?
Why it is important to recognize how a potential friend is feeling.
What is deep breathing (e.g., breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 4, and exhaling for 4)?
A fast, discreet physical technique to calm down your nervous system in a crowded hallway.
What is asking for permission or getting a clear agreement?
What it means to get consent before borrowing an item or sharing a secret.
What is keep the secret! This builds high trust and solidifies the friendship.
A friend shares a secret with you and explicitly asks you not to tell anyone. What should you do?
What is complimenting their shoes, asking about the homework, or introducing your name?
An effective icebreaker when sitting next to someone new in class.
What is a relaxed posture, uncrossing your arms, and smiling?
The non-verbal cues that show you are approachable.
What is isolating? (Note: This is a coping mechanism, but often makes anxiety worse in the long run)
The act of deliberately staying away from most people to avoid anxiety.
What is, "I can't do that, but I hope you find someone who can"?
A polite but firm phrase to say no to a request that makes you uncomfortable.
What is, "Thanks so much for the invite! I'm really tired tonight, but I'd love to hang out on [Day] instead."
You get an invitation to hang out, but your anxiety is making you feel too drained to go. What do you say?
What is asking a follow-up question related to what the other person just said?
A technique used to keep a conversation moving back and forth.
What is when their bodies are turned outward in an open circle and they are making eye contact with newcomers?
How you know a group of people is open to you joining their conversation.
What is reframing (e.g., "They are probably just busy, I'll text them tomorrow")?
A mental trick to stop your brain from jumping to the worst-case scenario (e.g., "They didn't text me back, they must hate me").
What is if you feel uncomfortable, pressured, or disrespected?
How to know if a friend is crossing your boundaries.
What is talk to them calmly and explain how their actions affected you.
A friend hurts your feelings. Instead of avoiding them or snapping at them, what should you do?
What is believing you have to be perfectly entertaining or witty (instead of just showing curiosity)?
The misconception about small talk that causes teens with anxiety to freeze up.
What is when they keep looking around, checking their phone, or giving very short, one-word answers?
A subtle cue that it might be time to end the conversation.
What is setting small, realistic goals (e.g., just saying "hi" to one person today)?
What is a personal boundary?
A strict, personal rule or comfort limit that you do not want others to cross.
What is introduce yourself and ask, "Have you worked with this software before?" or "What topic are you interested in doing?"
You are in an elective class and are assigned a project with someone you don't know well. How can you break the ice?