GIVE
GIVE skills are used for this objective
To build and maintain good relationships
We use DEAR MAN skills when we...
Want to achieve our objective (ask for something or say no)
When you want to keep your self respect you use these skills.
What are FAST skills.
THINK skills are used for this purpose
To help us consider other motivations for people's behaviour and not jump to conclusions
Name all the GIVE skills
(be) Gentle, (act) Interested, Validate, (use an) Easy manner
Name all the DEAR MAN skills
Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindfully, Appear Confident, Negotiate
Name all the FAST skills
(be) Fair, (no) Apologies, Stick to Values, (be) truthful
Name all the THINK skills
Think about it from the other person's perspective, Have empathy, Interpretations, Notice, Kindness
What does the I in GIVE stand for (give an example)
Act Interested (maintain eye contact, don't let your thoughts wander, etc.)
The first step in DEAR MAN is to...
Describe the situation.
Give an example of using the S in FAST
Sticking to your values. Ex: to be kind, to contribute, to be part of the group, to be responsible, to learn, to have fun, to be healthy, to achieve, to have good relationships
Why should we think about other people's motivations?
When we interpret situations as negative, our responses also tend to be more negative in return. It is usually more effective to give consider others' perspectives and act on this. This will help reduce conflict and negative emotions.
"What will my friend's think?" or "I'd probably screw it up anyway" are examples of these things that get in the way of being effective in relationships
What are worry thoughts.
If you're asking staff for something and you're yelling at them you're not using this GIVE skill.
What is be gentle.
The "M" in MAN stands for this (please explain)
What is (be) Mindful. This means staying focused on what you want, not getting distracted and being a broken record
If you've gotten what you want AND kept your self respect, but you've really upset the person you were asking something of, what objective have you lost sight of?
What is maintaining my relationship and being effective
Give an example of using using the I in the skill. What is important to consider in doing this?
Ex: finding several different interpretations for the person's behaviour. It is important to find at least one good, positive, not ill-intended interpretation.
What is a WISE mind statement? Give an example.
WISE mind statements balance our reasonable and emotional minds to challenge worry thoughts. They are something you may say to a friend or loved one but may not say to yourself. Ex: I can still feel good about myself even if someone is annoyed with me, I can cope if I don't get what I want
Give an example of Reinforcing your request
Ex: "I'll be happy" or "You'll really help me out" or "I'll really appreciate it"
You assume that a friend is angry at you and ignoring you because they did not say hello to you when they saw you. How could you use the THINK skill in this situation.
Think about their perspective and find different interpretations for their behaviour e.g. they did not see you, they were having a bad day and did not feel like talking. Think about how they may be feeling sad, tired etc. Notice what is good about the relationship and be kind to the other person.
What are TWO THINGS that impact the level of asking or saying no to something.
Ex: priorities, the relationship, self respect, capability, timeliness, preparation, authority, rights, and long vs. short term goals.