My Values
What are values?
Values are the beliefs and ideals that matter most to us.
Name someone you have a positive relationship with and one way you each behave that makes the relationship positive.
Examples: My best friend and we both are honest with each other. My mom and we both treat each other with kindness.
Share a time when you thought about a situation from another person's perspective.
Example: My friend lost her phone and yelled at me to help her find it. I didn't get upset because I knew she was panicking.
What is a compromise?
A compromise is an agreement where both people give up some of what they want or need.
What is making amends?
Making amends means to make up for doing something wrong or to do something to repair the harm.
Give three examples of values.
Examples: Kindness, Independence, Honesty, Friendship, Bravery, Loyalty, Equality, Respect, Curiosity, Passion, Honesty
Why do you think they’re called “healthy” relationships?
Healthy relationships make us feel good and happy, they also positively affect our health!
What is perspective-taking?
The process of being able to identify and understand another person’s feelings, thoughts, needs, and wants.
Give an example of a compromise.
Examples: You take turns with your sister on the new PlayStation you got for Christmas or you and your friend want to watch different movies, you agree to watch one this week and the other next week.
How can you determine your responsibility after a conflict?
What did you do that started or escalated the conflict? Think about the other person’s perspective.
Which of your values is most important to you? Why?
Examples: Kindness, Independence, Honesty, Friendship, Bravery, Loyalty, Equality, Respect, Curiosity, Passion, Honesty
What are two behaviors that healthy relationships often include?
Examples: Giving each other space when needed, valuing each other’s opinions, even when they disagree, listening to each other, having fun together, apologizing when you’re wrong, supporting each other, telling each other the truth, respecting each other
What are some questions you can ask yourself to understand someone else’s perspective?
What would I feel or think if I were them?
What might they want or need?
Do I really know what’s going on for them?
Sometimes resolving a conflict requires compromise.
What’s one core value you wouldn’t compromise on to resolve a conflict? Why?
Examples: I wouldn't compromise my honesty, I won't lie to someone to resolve a conflict. I wouldn't compromise my kindness, I wouldn't feel good being mean to someone or disrepectful.
How can you make a sincere apology?
Show that you take responsibility for your actions in the conflict and recognize how much it hurt them.
If you value loyalty, how would you handle a situation in which you heard that your best friend's boyfriend was cheating on him?
Example: You could tell your bestfriend what you heard.
What values are most important to you in a relationship? Why?
Examples: Kindness, Helpfulness, Honesty, Open-mindedness, Confidence, Empathy, Respect, Responsibility, Understanding, Trust, Forgiveness, Strength, Pride, Courage
Jack stayed over at his friend's house past the time he told his parents he would be home. When he got home, his dad was upset. Jack thinks his dad should trust him more. What are Jack and his dad feeling? What could help them understand the other person's perspective?
Jack's dad may have been feeling worried or scared. Jack may have felt misunderstood or frustrated. Talking about the situation after they have both calmed down may help them.
Why is perspective-taking important for resolving conflicts?
Perspective-taking helps you identify the conflict in an unbiased way. This can help you to compromise in a fair way.
Share a time you have made amends with someone. Or a time when someone made amends with you.
Examples: My mom yelled at me for breaking something on accident, later she apologized and took me out for ice cream. I overslept my alarm and missed my friend's soccer game. I apologized and took him out for dinner after his next game.
How do your values guide your behavior?
Values can help people choose goals, set priorities, and decide what to do—or not to do—in different situations.
Which behaviors are important in friendships? Dating relationships? Why?
Examples: Trust, Honesty, Respect.
Why do you think taking the perspective of others is important in a conflict?
Avoid making assumptions about them, avoid blaming the other person, and better understand the conflict.
What are the four steps of conflict resolution?
2. What are the possible solutions?
3. For each solution, consider the consequences.
4. What's the best solution?
Jeremy invited Paul to his theater show on Saturday. Paul agrees to go but then gets invited to a reunion concert for his all time favorite band. Paul goes to the concert and forgets to tell Jeremy. Jeremy is upset. What is Paul's responsibility? How can he apologize? How can he make amends?
Paul is responsible for breaking his agreement with Jeremy and not telling him beforehand. Paul can apologize for not communicating and for being disrespectful. Paul can go to Jeremy's next theater show and bring even more friends to support him and also bring him flowers for after the show.