Boundaries
What is a boundary?
A limit you set to protect yourself.
I need to smoke or drink to calm down.
I don't need it, I can find other ways to calm down.
"I used once this week, so I have completely failed."
All or nothing thinking.
Taking a walk when you feel stressed.
Distress tolerance.
Is this a healthy boundary: I need some space right now"?
Yes
"I always mess everything up."
" I mess up sometimes, but not always."
"I'm never getting my phone back, and my parents will never trust me again."
Catastrophizing.
Saying " I need some space right now."
Boundary setting.
True or False: Boundaries don't always fix the situation, but they stop it from getting worse or pulling you in deeper.
True.
"If I fail this test, my semester is over."
"One test won't ruin the semester."
"They didn't respond to my text, they must be mad at me."
Mind reading.
Noticing the thought "everyone is mad at me" and questioning it.
Challenging a cognitive distortion.
True or false: if you need a long explanation for your "no," it usually means the other person doesn't respect it.
True
"They didn't answer my text; they must have another chat without me in it."
"Maybe they are just busy."
"I can't stay sober, so what's the point."
Overgeneralizing.
Distracting yourself when you feel the urge to use.
Distress tolerance.
Why are boundaries important in relationships?
They build respect, safety, and healthy communication.
'I'm the problem"
Labeling
Leaving a party where people are using because you know it's a trigger for you.
Boundary setting and distress tolerance.