Dad Jokes
Where do you take a sick boat?
To the doc-k!
Ancient humans used which kind of rock to make arrowheads and other sharp weapons?
Flint.
The 24-hour day is standard today, but which ancient civilization do we credit for dividing it this way?
The Egyptians.
"The Fishin' Hole" is the name of the iconic whistling theme song of what classic TV show, which features the title figure walking to the "fishin' hole" with his son?
Andy Griffith.
What animal lays the largest egg?
Ostrich!
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Which scale measures the relative hardness and resistance of a mineral to being scratched?
The Mohs Hardness Scale.
What is the specific term for someone who studies the science of time measurement and clock-making?
A Horologist.
This title character and her BFF, Ethel, work in a chocolate factory, leading to some hilarious scenes with a conveyor belt in a 1952 episode of what classic TV series?
I Love Lucy!
What does a male penguin often gift its female counterpart to win her over?
A pebble!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was out-standing in his field!
What is the hardest naturally occurring mineral on the Mohs scale, scoring a perfect 10?
Diamond.
What happens to a moving clock or a clock near a strong gravitational pull according to Einstein's theory of relativity?
It runs slower.
What popular ABC sitcom, running on ABC from 1964 to 1972, was about ad exec Darrin and his marriage to Samantha, who has magical powers?
Bewitched!
What is the largest species of penguin?
Emperor penguin!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
What gemstone has been discovered on Mars?
Opal.
In 1972, musician Jim Croce released the classic hit "Time in a ______". What is the missing word?
Bottle.
What CBS series featuring Billie Jo, Bobbie Jo, and Betty Jo takes place at the Shady Rest Hotel and is one of three shows about rural characters from Paul Henning?
Petticoat Junction!
How many teeth does a seahorse have?
None!
Why are libraries so tall?
Cause they have too many stories!
Which igneous rock forms when lava cools so quickly that no crystals can form, resulting in natural black volcanic glass?
Obsidian.
Before the Gregorian calendar was widely adopted in 1582, what date did the New Year traditionally begin?
March 25th.
The name for this character and TV show was inspired by nonsense lyrics at the end of the Frank Sinatra song "Strangers in the Night."
Scooby-Doo!
How long can a crocodile hold it's breath under water?
One hour!