Actually not a student (Senior)
Nome
Can down an entire water bottle of straight vodka in a night, no questions asked (Sophomore)
Neeks
Has a better broad jump than any other two players on our team combined (Junior)
Mo
Soon to be a homewrecker and break up her lacrosse “soulmate’s” relationship (Sophomore)
Sara
Saw snow for the first time on her official visit here (Sophomore)
Syd
This child prodigy got a 100% on an orgo exam (the mean was a 70%), and left it taped to the fridge for a year (Senior)
Maddie
Came home in an uber alone at 4 am in Natty Light flip flops that she unknowingly stole from a frat boy (Senior)
Em Addis
Was just as surprised as the other team’s goalie was when her cross ended up in the back of the net, TWICE (Senior)
Nome
Had a fling with Tyler Bagley (aka Tidal T, a men’s soccer senior), and proceeded to break his heart (Junior)
Aidan
Sweats through her Nike teagle before we are even done with the FIFA 11 warm-up (Sophomore)
Bella
If you ever need CPR, this certified EMT is your gal (Sophomore)
Emily St. John
Threw up all over the backseat of an Uber on the way back from formal and had to pay the cleaning fee (Junior)
Mir
Guarded Alex Morgan in a game against the US women’s national team (Junior)
Jay
Loves to come home completely dressed in her 6’5” boyfriend’s gym shorts and massive t-shirts (Senior)
Nic
Secretly got a pet dog at school, returned it a couple days later (Junior)
Eva
Despite her best efforts, almost failed Intro to Oceanography (Senior)
Shelby
Volunteered to be given a lap dance by a recent men’s soccer graduate in last year’s scavenger hunt, forgot to mention she was underage (Sophomore)
Kendall
Scored an ESPN highlight-worthy volley in our season-opener last year (Sophomore)
Ashley
Hooked up with a creepy hockey player (aka Ferret) and does not recall the night (Junior)
Vic
Speaks fluent Russian and can do the WAP like no other (Sophomore)
Shawny
Was pre-med until she had a breakdown in the library, dropped all her classes, and changed her major on the spot (Sophomore)
Ashley
Jumped in a dunk tank fully clothed with jeans on at a darty, blacked-out then proceeded to rally and blackout later that night (Senior)
Carly
Got a concussion in a warm-up rugby game at practice after being tackled by a fellow senior (Senior)
Shelby
Hooked up with a townie in the backseat of a car; we’re happy she’s still alive (Sophomore)
Shawny
Snuck into her boyfriend’s house to delete texts off his laptop to her mom about wanting to break up with him (Senior)
Jules