Unhelpful Thinking Styles
Discounting the good things that have happened or that you have done for some reason or another
Disqualifying the positive
Only paying attention to certain types of evidence
Mental Filter
"It's all their fault I'm in this situation"
Personalization
Teens should always be respectful and behave responsibly.
Teens, like parents, make mistakes and have a right to learn from their mistakes. No one is perfect.
They're never going to trust me again
Over time, trust can be built back up again.
Assuming that because we feel a certain way what we think must be true
Emotional reasoning
Imagining we know or assume what others are thinking
Mind Reading
They're not back yet, something bad must have happened.
Jumping to conclusions
My child should tell me what's bothering them. If they don't, then it must mean we don't have a good relationship.
No teen tells their parent everything, it doesn't mean that we have a bad relationship.
Why can't they just let me do what I want?
My parents set limits and boundaries because they care about my health and safety.
Assigning classifications to ourselves or other people
Labeling
Seeing a pattern based on a single event, or being overly broad in the conclusions we draw
Over-generalizing
"I lapsed again. I might as well just keep using until they find out."
Should Must
My child should always listen to me because I know what is best from my own experience.
Kids who don't do drugs are so boring. What would I even talk to them about?
I might find something new I'm into if I try to make new social connections.
Sometimes called black and white thinking
All or Nothing Thinking
Blowing things out of proportion
Magnification
"It's not that big a deal, it's just a plant"
Minimization
If they keep failing, I must be a bad parent"
We can only guide our teens. We cannot ultimately be responsible for all of their behavior. Many other people have influence on them.
IOP is such a waste of time and I don't need it.
You get out what you put in. Open yourself to learn new skills and ways of thinking and practice them!
Inappropriately shrinking something to make it seem less important
Minimization
Discounting the good things that have happened or that you have done for some reason or another.
Fortune telling
"I feel terrible, so I must be a terrible parent."
Emotional Reasoning
My child is punishing me for not allowing them to do what they want.
Teens generally don't plan their behavior in advance. What are some other explanations for why it appears they are trying to hurt me.
I'm feeling so stressed out, I need this to escape.
Stop, analyze what the initial stressor is and utilize appropriate coping skills or try a new coping skill before going back to old habits.