Fact, Thought, or Feeling?
I got picked last for kickball.
Fact (observable event)
Your friend doesn’t sit with you at lunch.
thought - "they don't like me"
feeling - hurt
behavior - avoid them.
I’m bad at math.
Math is hard for me right now, but I can improve
That’s not fair!
I feel frustrated when I don't get a turn because I was really looking forward to participating and I need a chance to be included.
I waved. They didn't wave back. Is that a fact, thought, or feeling??
FACT
I’m not good at sports.
thought (interpretation/judgement)
You get one question wrong in class.
Feeling - Embarrassed
Behavior - Stop raising hand.
They don’t want me.
I don't know what they're thinking. I can check in.
You’re ignoring me!
I feel hurt when I don't get a response because it makes me think I'm not important and I need reassurance or a reply when you can.
They are mad at me. Is that a fact, thought, or feeling??
THOUGHT
I felt embarrassed when they picked teams.
feeling
Two kids laugh after you talk.
Thought - "They're laughing at me."
Feeling - anxiousbehavior - shut down/withdraw
I always mess things up.
You never listen!
I feel unheard when I'm talking and you're on your phone because what I'm saying matters to me and I need you to look at me or respond so I know you're listening.
Hurt/Anxious
Is that a fact, thought or feeling??
FEELING
They picked me last because I’m bad.
thought (mind reading/assumption)
You’re not invited to something.
Thought - "I'm not important"
Feeling - sad
Behavior - Isolate
I’m awkward.
Sometimes I feel awkward, but that doesn't define me.
You embarrassed me!
I feel embarrassed when that was said in front of everyone because it made me feel exposed and I need things like that said privately.
Upgrade this thought: I always mess things up.
I made a mistake this time, but I don't mess everything up.
Or
Everyone make mistakes. I can fix this.
My stomach felt tight before I had to present my paper.
feeling (physical anxiety signal)
Your friend seems distant all week.
Thought- "They're mad at me."
Feeling - worried
Behavior - over text them or avoid them
I’m not good enough.
I might not be perfect, but I'm enough as I am.
You left me out!
I felt left out when I wasn't invited because I value being part of the group and i need to feel included or at least know why.
Turn this into a full I-statement.
"You never include me."
I feel left out when I'm not not invited because I care about being part of things, and I would like to be included next time.