Wise Mind
What is emotion mind, reasonable mind, and wise mind?
Emotion Mind: The part of the mind makes decisions based only on emotions, like anger or sadness, and might lead you to act on impulse.
Reasonable Mind: The part of the mind that is all logic and facts, no emotions allowed, or consideration of your values.
Wise Mind: The combination of both! Takes into account emotions and reason, allowing you to make an effective decision that will help you work towards your long-term goals.
You’re having a strong emotion, but instead of reacting right away, you just notice the feeling and your thoughts without judging or trying to change them. You’re doing this WHAT skill.
Observe
You want to win an argument with your best friend, but instead, you decide to calmly ask if you can talk later when you’re both less upset. Which HOW skill are you using?
Effectively
True or False: Wise mind always feels calm and clear.
False: Wise mind can sometimes feel emotionally intense, especially when doing what’s effective feels hard.
You’re at a concert and completely immersed in the music, singing along, dancing, not thinking about what others think, and just being in the moment. What WHAT skill are you using?
Participate
True or False: Acting non-judgmentally means pretending you don’t have opinions or feelings.
(Provide reasoning to support your answer!)
False.
Non-judgmentally means noticing thoughts and feelings without labeling them as good or bad—it doesn’t mean ignoring or denying them.
You’re invited to a party where people might be drinking and doing drugs. You are feeling pressured to go even though it makes you anxious. Emotion Mind says, “go so people don’t think you’re boring,” and Reasonable Mind says, “just don’t go—end of story.” What would Wise Mind help you do in this moment?
Recognize both the desire to fit in and your values around safety, and make a decision that honors both. For example, you might talk to a friend about your concerns or set a boundary before going.
You feel nervous before a class presentation. Instead of saying, “I’m freaking out,” you say, “I notice my hands are shaking and my stomach feels tight.”
Which WHAT skill are you using here, and how might it change your reaction?
Describe.
By labeling your physical sensations instead of jumping to judgment, you shift from being overwhelmed by the emotion to just noticing it. This can help reduce the intensity of your reaction, make the experience feel more manageable, and open the door to using additional skills like grounding or self-soothing.
You are in math class and think to yourself: "This test is so unfair, the teacher must be trying to trick us. I'm SO STUPID".
Which of the HOW skills is needed here, and what would the thought look like if you used it?
Non-judgementally.
"I don't know the answer to a lot of the questions on this test, and I'm feeling really discouraged".
You tell your therapist, "I’m too emotional to make good decisions. I just need to shut my feelings off.”
What is problematic about this belief? What does Wise Mind do instead?
Emotions contain important information, and Wise Mind integrates emotions with logic so you can make decisions that are effective and aligned with your values, not just avoidant or reactive.
True or False: You can observe that your friend is mad at you because they didn’t text you back.
(Provide reasoning to support your answer!)
False
You can observe the fact that they didn’t text you back. You cannot observe their emotion (and if you do, you’re making an assumption!). Observing means noticing facts, not interpreting or mind-reading.
You’re watching a movie with friends, but you keep checking your phone, replaying an argument in your head, and thinking about what's for dinner. Suddenly, you realize you don’t remember what’s happening in the movie.
What DBT HOW skill were you not using—and what would using it have looked like in this moment?
One-mindfully.
Using it would mean fully focusing on the movie, letting go of distractions, and gently bringing your attention back each time your mind wanders.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend hasn’t responded to your messages all day. You feel hurt and worried. Instead of texting them nonstop or spiraling, you remind yourself: “They’ve been busy before, it’s probably nothing. I’m being dramatic.” You shut down your emotions and focus on finishing your chemistry homework.
What mind are you using? What are the pros and cons of being in this mind, in this moment?
Reasonable Mind.
Pro: It helps you stay task-focused and may prevent overreaction.
Cons: It dismisses and invalidates your emotions instead of recognizing them as meaningful.
True or False: Observing your emotions means thinking about why you're feeling that way and figuring out what to do next.
False
The Observe skill is about noticing your experience without analyzing, labeling, or problem-solving. It’s about being present and aware, not fixing or judging.
You planned to go to the gym to help your anxiety, but when you get there, it’s packed, your favorite machine is taken, and someone is loudly talking on the phone. You start to feel overwhelmed and want to leave. Instead, you remind yourself of your goal and decide to take a walk outside or stretch at home.
What skill are you using, and why is it effective?
Effectively.
Because you’re adapting your plan to still meet your goal (managing anxiety through movement), instead of giving up when your original plan didn’t work out.