Bad Reviews of Epic Movies
Way too long. Literally just three hours of guys walking towards a volcano to return a piece of jewelry.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (or the trilogy)
🚪❄️👭👑☃️
Frozen
The heavily guarded vault in Atlanta supposedly holds the original recipe for this iconic beverage, which was famously invented by John Pemberton in 1886.
Coke (or Coca-Cola)
In 1963, General Mills introduced this magical cereal featuring pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers, famously guided by Lucky the Leprechaun.
Lucky Charms
What is Miss D's favorite color?
pink
Extremely unrealistic. There is no way a boat that big sinks just because of some ice. Also, the girl definitely could have made room on that door.
Titanic
🤠🧑🚀🦖🐷🚀
Toy Story
A copy of the secret blend of "11 herbs and spices" used by this fast-food giant is reportedly locked inside a digital safe at their Louisville headquarters, guarded by motion detectors.
KFC
This iconic, high-fiber Kellogg's cereal has been endorsed by a cartoon tiger named Tony since 1952, who constantly reminds television viewers that they are "Gr-r-reat!"
Frosted Flakes
Uno
Total waste of time. The main character doesn't even talk for the first 30 minutes, he just cleans up trash. My toddler does that for free.
WALL-E
👨🍳🐀🍝
Ratatouille
While often mistaken for Thousand Island dressing, the "Special Sauce" on this iconic McDonald's double-decker burger actually uses a distinct blend of mayonnaise, sweet relish, and yellow mustard.
Big Mac
He’s a decorated naval officer whose full name is Horatio Magellan Crunch, but the grocery store aisles know him by this shortened moniker.
Captain Crunch
What is Miss D's favorite animal?
rabbit
Terrible pacing. It takes this guy two whole hours just to spell out his own name to a kid, and honestly, the giant typewriter he built out of garbage wasn't even that impressive.
ET
🚢🧊🎻🌊
Titanic
In 2016, a Twitter user went viral for revealing that the distinct, slightly fruity flavor of this bright red, iconic ballpark candy is actually achieved by mixing cherry, strawberry, and a hint of almond paste.
Twizzlers
These wafer-thin, flavor-lined tubes were a massive 2000s school-lunch commodity; after being discontinued for over a decade, a massive fan petition forced Kellogg’s to bring them back to shelves in 2022.
What is Miss D.'s favorite book to read?
Lord of the Rings
Absolute chaos. A woman invites three of her mother’s random ex-boyfriends to her wedding without telling anyone, and instead of calling security, everyone just stops what they're doing to aggressively sing ABBA songs.
Mamma Mia
🦁👑🐗🪲
The Lion King
This iconic hot sauce brand keeps its recipe so secret that the mash of peppers, salt, and vinegar must age in white oak barrels for up to three years on Avery Island, Louisiana, before it can be bottled.
Tabasco
Despite its bird-themed name and mascot, this crunchy, molasses-sweetened corn and oat cereal contains absolutely zero seafood. Instead, the box features a cartoon version of an Arctic seabird that shares its name with a popular, highly controversial tech/web browser from the 2010s.
Puffins
What degree did Miss D. just get?
Reading Specialist