STAR
What does the S in STAR mean?
Stop
You take a walk to distract yourself. Which ACCEPTS skill is this?
Activities
You picture yourself somewhere peaceful.
Imagery
You are explaining something, and the person keeps looking at their phone. Your first thought is, “they’re bored and don’t care.”
What is another interpretation?
They may be expecting an important message, checking the time, dealing with an emergency, or distracted by something unrelated.
You pause before sending an angry message
STAR Stop
During which step do you consider what you could do?
Think
You help someone carry their groceries. Which skill is this?
Contributing
You take slow breaths and relax your shoulders.
Relaxation
You tell someone about something good that happened, and they respond, “must be nice.” Your first thought is, “they’re jealous and trying to ruin it.”
What is another interpretation?
They may be disappointed about their own situation, trying to joke, or genuinely wishing they had the same opportunity
You listen to music to distract yourself
ACCEPTS Activities
“I choose to take a break.” Which step is this?
Act
You feel sad and watch something funny. Which skill is this?
Emotions
You focus on only one task at a time
One thing in the moment
You ask someone where they want to eat, and they say, “do whatever you want.” Your first thought is, “they’re angry with me.”
What is another interpretation?
They may genuinely have no preference, feel tired, or want you to choose
You tell yourself, “This is hard, but I can handle it.”
IMPROVE Encouragement
During which step do you ask, “Did my choice help?”
Review
You do a puzzle to give your mind something else to focus on.
Thoughts
You take a short break
Vacation
You make a comment during a group conversation, and nobody responds. Your first thought is, “everyone thinks what I said was stupid.”
What is another interpretation?
They may not have heard, might not know how to respond, could be thinking about it, or the conversation may have naturally stopped
You focus only on washing the one dish in your hand
IMPROVE One thing in the moment
Put these in order: Review, Stop, Act, Think.
Stop, Think, Act, Review
You hold something cold or eat a sour candy.
Sensations
You tell yourself, “I can get through this.”
Encouragment
Your friend seems quieter than normal and gives short responses. Your first thought is, “I must have done something wrong.”
What is another interpretation?
They may be stressed, tired, distracted, dealing with a personal problem, or simply not in the mood to talk
You feel upset, help a family member with a task, and notice that you feel calmer
ACCEPTS Contributing