Persian Excursions
Mom grew up in this Iranian city
Shiraz
When Soraya's white-blood-cells are being extra, Mom tells them to F*** off by being a great ______
Advocate
We were hoping that this aged rockstar would become single so he could become our new stepdad (hint: he headlined the Masimo Xmas party)
Mom won tickets to this concert in San Diego
Mom went to college in this state
Nebraska
Mom's parents bailed back to Iran and subsequently lied to the feds about her age so she could go to college faster. How old was she when this happened?
16
This is what Mom told Mrs. Cochren after she wanted me suspended for not doing my homework
"I don't want to offend you, but I do feel like you just keep harping on the same point over and over that he forgot to do his homework."
Although mom is 0% interested, Ladan thought this Car Guru may be a potential stepdad after sending mom a heart-emoji on Xmas a few years back
John Mosqueta
For Tony and Soraya, their first concert experience was this band that mom loves and would often play in the car on the way to Wild Rivers and Junior Lifeguards
Rush
Who did mom have slumbies with through Dental school?
Tammy
When Mom's parents lied to the Feds about her birthday, they gave THIS date, which is not her real birthday...
September... idontevenknowtothisdaysoIstillLiveinFearofgoingtotheRiteAidtopickupaprescription
Mom tried to put Tony in a different class after this Second Grade teacher wouldn't stop putting him in the pentalty box for not tying his shoes
Mrs Grupe
This guy who used to play a fire-fighter on TV had a weird wife, and we were hoping they would break up so mom could date this potential stepdad
Randy Mantooth
Jack Black starred in this comedy that Mom watched with us many times
Nacho Libre
Mom and Dad got married in this building
The Creighton University Chapel
After making Massi take it to the slaughterhouse, Mom's parents tried to make them eat this animal. Once a pet, now a dinner
Chicken
Gelsons
Look, it would never have worked between them, but didn't this strange handy-man kinda feel like our stepdad for a second?
Louis (hahahaha)
Mom's OG nickname is
Maru
Mom's favorite uncle may or may not have offed this person and left his body in the snow. (may they both rest in peace!)
Mom's grandfather
Mom could have gotten waaaayyyyy more mad at Ladan after she came home from the book fair with no books, but a lot of these
Erasers, Knick Knacks, etc.
Mom's celebrity crush
Idris Elba
Ben Stiller
This is where Mom picked up a still-faintly-present southern twang
Alabama