Guilt and Shame
" I am sorry I spent so much time using/drinking and not attending to my family"
What is an example of guilt?
One of my parents die, I lose my job, something happens to my child, I become homeless, I go to prison, my child gets married, I get married
What are some reasons people use to relapse? "red flag triggers"
Experience people have when the demands they make of themselves or those placed upon them are greater than what they feel they can handle
What is stress?
Leads many people to relapse, can be a slow building process which can produce stress
What is anger?
At least four traumatic encounters
What is a major factor in someone developing an alcohol or drug problem or becoming obese?
" I am hopeless and worthless".
What is an example of shame?
Not feeling like you belong, feeling a part even in a crowded room
What is loneliness?
Difficulty sleeping, nightmares, headaches, stomach problems, chronic illness, fatigue, moodiness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, over eating or under eating, memory loss, increased substance use, unhappy with life, lack of motivation, depression
What are symptoms of stress?
Talk to the subject, talk to a therapist, your sponsor or another support, writing, exercise, take a breather
What are ways to manage my anger?
5% of the population is affected (13 million Americans in a given year), 49% of rape victims will develop it, 32% of victims of severe physical assault, 14.3% of people who suddenly and unexpectedly experience death of loved one, 10.4% parents and children with life threatening illness, witnessing murder or serious injury to another 7.3%, 3.8% who experience natural disaster
What are facts about PTSD?
It's alright to make mistakes. It's okay to say, "I don't know", don't care or don't understand. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone if you are acting responsibly
What are some facts about guilt and shame?
Intense irritability, explosive thoughts, seeing red, wanting to hurt someone emotionally and/or physically
What is anger?
Candles, soft lights, colors you like, pictures of loved one or places, music
How can I make my space less stressful?
Holding it in and eventually exploding, sarcastic and passive aggressive, physical violence
What are some ways people express anger?
Serious accidents, physical or sexual assault, domestic violence, exposure to traumatic events, serious health problems, childbirth experiences, military combat
What are ways PTSD is caused?
Missing holidays, forgetting to pick up the kids, flaking out on plans, spending money someone gave you on drugs, showing up late everywhere
What are some things people feel guilty and shameful about?
Not being able to go to bars anymore, giving up certain careers, not seeing certain people anymore, not feeling like you are having fun in life
What is deprivation?
Proper nutrition, regular exercise, avoid drugs and alcohol, take time for yourself to relax, get the sleep you need
What are some coping skills for stress?
Threatening those around them, emotional blackmail, seeking vengeance, avoidance
What are ways people in active addiction express anger?
Intrusive memories, avoidance, drastic changes in thinking or mood, changes in emotional reactions: shock, denial, disbelief, confusion, anger, anxiety, fear, guilt and shame, sadness, withdrawn, feeling disconnected, difficulty concentrating, mood swings
What are symptoms of PTSD?
Get sober, set an alarm clock for multiple things, put money away or have them pay a bill directly, leave early for things
What are some things you can do to not repeat the same acts that made you feel guilty and shameful?
Writing, journaling, meditating, exercise, talking to someone else, taking a breather and breathing exercises
What are some healthy ways to manage dangerous emotions?
Stay away from people who are still using, surround yourself with people who understand your recovery, change routes to avoid places, experience new hobbies, get rid of paraphernalia
What are some ways to reduce stress in sobriety?
It is meant to protect us, survival mode, a secondary emotion, it is only in our control when we slow it down, bitterness, resentment and hostility are repressed forms, can be useful
What are some facts about anger?
EMDR, trauma informed care, treating co occuring disorder, being in a speciality track of care,
What are the most successful ways to treat PTSD?