Relationships & Self Respect (T/F)
I shouldn't have to ask (say no); they should know what I want (and do it).
False: People won't always know your wants/needs, we have to advocate for ourselves.
I don't deserve to get what I want or need.
False: Believing this can only prevent you from achieving your goals. Everyone has inherent dignity, and with that comes inherent needs.
Year of the Horse
I can't stand it if someone gets upset with me.
While I really don't like when others are upset with me, I can tolerate it with coping skills.
They should have known that their behavior would hurt my feelings; I shouldn't have to tell them.
False: We have to advocate for ourselves when our boundaries get crossed. Uncomfortable emotions are our bodies way of communicating to us that something is wrong, giving us the opportunity to act.
Saying no to a request is always a selfish thing to do.
False: Saying no in some cases is a way of asserting boundaries.
This word for a friend comes from the Latin for "with whom you would eat bread."
Companion
I don't deserve to get what I want or need.
I'm responsible for negotiating and with others to work towards getting what I want.
True: Our goals/aspirations won't fall into our lap. We have to use effective communication skills to work towards them.
If I make a request, it will show that I am a weak person.
False: Making a request takes not only self awareness, but also strength to recognize your own limitations.
aglet
It doesn't make any difference; I don't care really.
It's ok for me to have wants/needs, and it's ok for me to be upset when they aren't met.
Other people should be more willing to do more for my needs.
False: I am responsible for seeking help when I need it. Your needs are your needs.
I have to know whether a person is going to say yes before I make a request.
False: This could be the cognitive distortion of mind reading. Also, people are capable of changing their minds!
What kind of bird is known as a "flamboyance" when in a group?
Flamingo
Making requests is a really pushy thing to do.
Making requests can be a pushy thing to do, but is most of the time a healthy assertion of boundaries.
Getting what I want when I want it all the time is an unrealistic expectation.
True: We can't possibly have everything we want, we have to learn to work towards compromise with others when asserting our needs/wants.
I should be willing to sacrifice my own needs for others.
False: Your needs matter. When your essential needs go unmet for too long, it can lead to physical and mental complications.
Venus
Obviously, the problem is just in my head. If I would just think differently I wouldn't have to bother everybody else.
My problems are valid, and it's ok for me to advocate for myself.