SHARED TEAM NAMES
Los Angeles and Sacramento
Who are the Kings?
We Have the Meats
What is Arby's?
It is dark. And it is quiet.
What is "Silent Night"?
Subject: Beach Fun
"P.S. Somebody better bring a larger beach thermos since I can drink again! I have 12 years to make up for."
Who is Ruth?
In 2015
"90 oz. of Ocean City sand in a nice bottle sounds perfect. Problem is she is pretty much impossible to buy a birthday gift for, I have no idea what to do there. More knick knacks doesn't work, and getting a new kitchen knife doesn't either. The required creativity is daunting."
Reply: "Can I also point out that 90 oz. of sand is 5.5 lbs.? (Think of a 5-lb. bag of sugar.) You might want to go with 90 grams since that amounts to 3.2 oz. and will fit easily in a small bottle."
Who is Don? And who is Jim?
In 2017
Arizona and St. Louis
Who are the Cardinals?
Down on the Farm
What is Bob Evans?
A child is subjected to significant trauma upon seeing his mother become intimate with an overweight stranger.
What is "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"?
Addressing Alan: "By the way, it's 89, not 88, this year. She was born in 1927."
Who is Jim?
2016
Subject: Grandma's 90th
"I'm a no-go on birthday cakes. I'd rather have 90 ounces of Gin & Tonics to pass around. But that's me."
Who is Alan?
In 2017
New York and Texas
Who are the Rangers?
Eatin' Good in the Neighborhood
What is Applebee's?
A peasant child inquires of a member of royalty whether he has vision or hearing deficiencies.
What is "Do You Hear What I Hear?"
Subject: I have beach news
"The Wi-Fi at 3608 Wesley appears to be pretty snappy. I am in the living room right now, and I can surf at will. Thought you might like to know - pass it on."
Who is Don?
In 2016
"Since Glenn Frye's passing, I've noticed a lot more people my age listening to The Eagles in their free time instead of their typical rap garbage."
Who is Mason?
In 2016
Florida and Carolina
Who are the Panthers?
We Treat You Right
What is Dairy Queen?
Let's have a party! At my house! And let's do 50s teen dances around the landscaping.
What is "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree"?
Subject: 30 Days and Counting
"Mason will appear for the bday celebration, and stay 'til Wednesday. Great."
Who is Alan?
In 2017
"I can get t-shirts made if everyone is in agreement on that. We all know how much Grandma (and my dad) love a good white t-shirt and it's a good chance for a family photo."
Who is Erika?
In 2017
New York and Winnepeg
Who are the Jets?
Delightfully Tacky, Yet Unrefined
What is Hooters?
While sleeping, I had an unconscious vision of a past snowfall.
What is "White Christmas"?
"I'm out. Price is too high for me to see a 75-year-old crooner (Mike Love) and a bunch of replacements. Would've been good in '67."
Who is Jim?
In 2017